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Our Skyy 118-Never Let Me Go Insert-01

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A New Year Greeting 

Chopper's POV

One thing that I am sure of it is this person called Ben doesn't know or understand how his presence affects me. I don't even dare to call us friends nowadays because...everything felt complicated. One thing I am sure of is, Ben doesn't know. 

He never did. 

He never knew the reason why I was distant from him was because of how I felt for him. I felt. Whenever he was around me. Whenever I was around him. The decision to be distant was no one but mine. My fault. I was too afraid. Simple as that. 

Growing up in a influential family such mine doesn't guarantee sunshine and rainbows. People who associate themselves with family of my background are usually...not normal. This was something I knew too well. Even my poor cousin did. But he was so much better me. At the very least, he understood what he wanted and he was moving to that direction to get it. Especially when it comes to the matter of the heart. He doesn't always succeed but he was willing to try. Unlike me. 

So when Nueng-Diao came over for the usual "family greetings" for the new year, I thought it was supposed to be the most superficial of agenda. Meet up, light tea, some random small talks throw in and out and they are out. Father and Aunt Tanya, the usual tension. Me and Nueng-Diao, well the usual tension breakers. I believe we would have been closer if our parents hadn't decide to have each other's heads. But like I said, family like ours don't get sunshine or rainbows. We are lucky if we survive one heavy rainy day. 

I didn't expect Ben to show up with Neung-Diao. Of course Palm came along too. Ben has never been to my house before. Not that I have the guts to invite him when we were closer. Not that I don't want him to come over. I didn't want him to see what secrets my house have to hide. 

I understood immediately why there were extra guests. The tension between Aunt Tanya and father got worse recently. A stranger visitor subdues egos from both side. Rich people care more about their image than you can imagine. 

Ben looked...nice. He wore an oversized black shirt with oversized pants. Looks chic on him. I never saw him out of school uniform so this is definitely refreshing. Probably this was why I feel my heart beat fast. It wasn't that I am shy or anything. Maybe I am but I wouldn't know for sure. Yet one thing I am sure is...I want him to look at me. 

I don't hope for much. Ben was always a kind person. He was kind to me and is still kind even after we drifted apart. Yeah, Ben's always the kindest person around, always ready to lend a helping hand. I guess that's why I fell for him in the first place. 

We didn't get to talk much of course. He was busy trying to talk to Nueng-Diao, as if he is trying to get his attention so he wouldn't look at Palm. 

I see all this. 

I know. 

But I can't do anything about it. I wouldn't. Because I'm a coward I guess? 

Time flies just like that and in a flash, they have to leave. I was in the same room as Ben but it was as if a thick was erected between us and we didn't see each other. Or at least, he didn't see me. 

I did what good host do and escorted them out of the front door. Aunt Tanya stormed out of the meeting room with father. So in the task in the end escorting guests out is usually mine to complete. Aunt Tanya was still nice enough to not raise her voice to me. I appreciate that much. I mean, children can't choose their parents and how they behave right? 

I exchanged knowing glances with Neung-Diao as he and Aunt Tanya got into the back seat of the big luxury sedan waiting for them. Ben was was about to go in when he stopped and turned to me. 

It was as if he saw me for the first time since he's arrived. 

"Thanks for having me at your house. It's a wonderful house. Happy New Year man and hope this is a prosperous year for you. See you at school ok?" 

Ben smiled as he wished me. I actually felt my own heart skipped a beat. Is that even possible?

"Oh, if you don't mind and it's ok with you, can I come visit you at your house again sometimes?" 

What is the meaning of this question? I didn't know how I managed to answer it but I did as least stupid sounding as I could. I only muttered an awkward yes. Ben smiled back. His lips curving side ways. His signature smile. He waves good bye as he climb into the sedan seat. Palm who was waiting to close the door, gave me a look before nodding and took his seat at the front passenger seat. 

The car left my sight as they turn right out to the main road exiting my house. 

I took out my phone and quickly taps on the LINE app. I scroll down to an all too familiar name. It was the person I haven't chat too in such a long time. I tapped on our last conversation dated back. It was way too long. 

I don't know why I did but since my gut instinct insisted, I typed Happy New Year. Then I erased it again. Why do I need to type this again when he was already at my place visiting? But what else can I write? 

[Sorry Ben, I was mumbling to myself. About what you said earlier, yeah, of course you're welcome to come to my house anytime. I'll be waiting.] Sounds about right. No, let's delete the "I'll be waiting" part. 

Right. Better. A chance to start a conversation. Click send. 

It's all anticipation if and when will Ben reply. 

I didn't have to wait too long and I got a reply. 

An love like emoji with the word thank you. That's all. 

I smile. I guess, this could be the beginning of something. I don't know where this will take me but right now, I'll take it. 

Ben. Thank you. 

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Yukichi's Note: I'll probably move the inserts into a GMMTV only book. This is getting messy. GMMTV's fault for producing so many BL dramas.