Brave enough

Cap. 13: Brave enough

I walk back home tired. Crap I practically didn't sleep tonight, too may thoughts and for what?

Mom: "Hey honey you seem destroyed"

Me: "Because I am: I had struggle sleeping"

Leo: "It's beautiful to see the perfect queen falling sometimes"

I freeze on my spot and quickly turn around to see Leo watching me from the couch in the other room. He is with his bathrobe glancing at me like 'I only expect this moment'. He must have come home for the weekend while I was at Susy's

Me: "Leo"

Leo: "Little one"

I'm about to go for the stairs but no this has to finish! I turn around to face him again

Me: "Why Leo? Tell me why?"

Leo: "What are you talking about?"

Me: "You know! Why do you have to behave like this with me? Why did you have to play the fool at all my b-day party? Why did you have to make escape all my friends? Why do you have to annoy me with every single thing that come to your hill mind? Why do you have to make my life such a hell on the hearth? WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?"

I scream at the top of my lungs as he looks back at me with a face halfway between angry and defeated

Me: "TELL ME FUCKINF WHY!"

Leo: "Because I was jealous, OK?"

He finally screams back at me as he stands up.

Leo: "You've always been the brightest one, the prettiest, and the most creative! I was jealous because you always had the things I wanted, without sweating as I had to do!"

I didn't expect this...like at all.

Me: "Oh...why you didn't tell me Leo? I would have helped you"

Leo: "Maybe I was too proud for asking...or maybe you wouldn't"

Me: "I'm your sister, I would have for sure...you have many other qualities I always wanted"

Leo: "Like?"

Me: "You're friendly, determined, strong, you never had fear of anything and you never had any problem in sports. Every girl falls easily for you while it took me 10 years to find someone, and till yesterday I was ready to leave him I afraid about Susan breaking up with me again"

I listen for my voice almost breaking on this

Leo: "So it's over with Nik?"

Me: "Not yet...he doesn't know anything about my existential crisis"

Leo: "He is so lucky little one"

He says as he hugs me

Me: "Thank you Leo"

He remains silent for a minute before letting me go and clean my face with his thumb

Leo: "Go catch him tiger!"

Me: "hahahahah, how many years is it since last time we watched spider-man together?"

Leo: "Too may"

Me: "Movie night?"

Leo: "Sure"

I walk upstairs and close the door behind me. I hope my mother didn't listen to us. Ok first thing text Nik. I know he is completely clueless about the dynamic between me and Su for the last weeks, but I have to tell him or I'll feel guilty about it.

"Maybe you're not the only one who has secrets, will you come to my place later?"

"What are you hiding?"

"Court secrets"

"3 pm?"

"See you later"

Drin.

Me: "Sir Nik"

Nik: "Milady"

Me: "Let's go upstairs"

I turn to face the stairs but a bathrobe catches my attention. I have to speak to him about wearing only that in the house for sure!

Me: "Leo! Come here...Nik this is my brother Leo, Leo this is Nik"

Nik: "Nice to properly meet you"

Leo: "Nice to meet you too, sorry if I was mean last time"

Nik: "Don't worry I recovered good"

Leo: "Ahahahahahah, well treat her properly she is special"

Nik: "Trust me, I know"

We walk upstairs and close the door. I take my phone and give the earphones to Nik. He seats on my bed waiting for the music to start with a puzzled face. "Brave enough". Click. He starts to sing quietly.

Nik: "I wish I was brave enough to love you, brave enough to love you..."

He looks up at me. Yeah, I wasn't able to hold back my tears even this time. He gets up and hugs me tight.

Nik: "Are you trying to say something?"

I can tell he is almost crying, maybe he misunderstood.

Me: "Don't get me wrong, I...like you a lot, but I lied to you"

Nik: "What do you mean?"

Me: "Susan, well she...she wanted to date you while we were already dating and I had just got along with her, so I...I was a coward I didn't say anything and instead I tried to push you out of my mind to give her a chance, but I couldn't...this morning I finally confessed to her and now I feel so stupid because she is my best friend and she would have understood...I don't know why I'm telling you this now but I felt like it's right...please Nik forgive me"

I push my face in his hoodie sobbing loudly. I would understand if he walks away and decide to not come back. Come on, break my heart!

I feel his arms tighten around me...wait what?

Nik: "You were worried just for that?"

Me: "Yeah..."

Nik: "Milady you heart is noble believe me. Susan is like a sister for you and you know her since kindergarten. I understand that you would do everything for her..."

Me: "As I would do everything for you"

Nik: "Oh really?"

Me: "Sure, I would get under a truck for you Nik...just forgive me for being me"

Nik: "I might have fell in love with your fault"

Wait did he just...hem anybody? Body? Brain?

Me: "I love you too. Thanks for being so understanding with me"

I guess heart spoke first

Nik: "You don't have to thank me...I thank you for being honest with me, not every girl would have been so sincere...it kind of scares me from one side but I guess that this means that you're ready to do anything for the people you care about..."

Me: "Oh..."

Nik: "There's something I want to ask you"

Me: "Sure"

Is this really about to happen???

Nik: "Next week there will be a special prom for the drama class we will be dressing as Antigone and Emone, would you like to come with me?"

Ok maybe not, but sounds great as well

Me: "Sure...so red dress?"

Nik: "Yup...may I ask you something more?"

Me: "Sure!"

Come on baby!

Nik: "Your bother...?"

Ofh ok then!

Me: "We sort of got along before"

Nik: "Sounds great"

Me: "Yeah..."