Only for me | Draco Malfoy

13.

I wondered if Ryder realised how much power he had over me now that I knew he was willing to tell people what had happened.

It's not like I'd ever felt embarrassed about having sex with someone at a party. This has happened a few times. After all, it's just sex.

But there was no sex in that room. And he was well aware of it. He had no choice. Right? He had to understand that what he did was wrong.

But you forced me to do it. You did.

His words rang in my ears. I refused to believe them. Nothing was done by me. Did I? In my mind, things were becoming hazy. Things that were once black and white were now blending into a terrifying shade of grey.

I knew one thing for certain: the thought of anyone finding out what happened in that room was unbearable. Is there a sound made when a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it?

Did it really happen if no one knew what happened to me?

My phone had been silent the entire night. My father had made me eat the takeout dinner in front of him. I had mindlessly watched three episodes of Dexter on the couch. I had spent the previous two hours staring at the first page of the book I was supposed to have read by now for English. Nothing. It only served to bring how lonely I felt.

Isn't I a walking hypocrite? I'm annoyed when people talk to me, but I'm bitter when they don't.

I thought I'd be able to sleep in my own bed, but I guess I was mistaken there as well. When I closed my eyes, I couldn't stop the rising anxiety that crept through my body. I tossed and turned for hours, trying to find a position in which I didn't feel exposed.

I finally gave up. I crept into my father's bedroom like a little girl, as quietly as I could, trying not to wake him. He'd notice when he woke up the next day, but I'd have time to prepare a lie by then. I sat on the small couch, wrapped in the fuzzy blanket I'd brought with me. Nothing could happen without my father's knowledge. I felt safe here.

I felt safe here.

And I kept thinking that until I finally fell asleep.

The last thing I wanted to do when I woke up was go to school. To be in general contact with people. I wanted to curl up on the couch and watch Grey's Anatomy reruns. I'd already finished the series, but every few months I'd find myself returning to season 1. It was comforting to me because I knew every episode inside and out. There are no surprises.

"Dad." When I found him in the kitchen, I groaned.

He was dressed perfectly, not a hair out of place. He smirked as he turned away from the pancakes he was flipping, as if he had already predicted what I was going to say.

"Good morning, dear." He replied with an eyebrow raised.

"I'm feeling ill. Is it okay if I stay at home today?" I made an effort to sound as sick as possible.

"Really? What's the issue?" He appeared amused.

"I've got a headache." It was the first thing that came to mind.

"If you're old enough to party and drink all weekend, you're old enough to deal with the resulting hangover." My father shook his head and returned his attention to the pancakes.

"But.."

"Angeline, there are no buts. You're going to school." As he placed a plate of pancakes in front of me, he said sternly.

I groaned loudly to let him know how annoyed I was before pushing the plate back at him and storming up the stairs.

I quickly showered and went to brush my teeth, but my toothpaste tube was empty. Naturally, it was. I had a feeling that everything that could possibly go wrong today would.