What Doesn't Kill You

Chapter 8

"Do you trust me?" I asked Black after contemplating our situation for a total of five minutes and coming to the inevitable conclusion.

"What in God's name are you talking about?"

Trust Black to be contrary even though he hadn't stopped touching me the entire time. The possessive hold he had on my body kept me on the edge of arousal. But I needed him to hear me and I had to stop his inquisitive fingers from stealing my ability to speak.

"I'm serious...do you trust me?"

The furrowed brow, the way he opened his mouth to speak only to snap it shut again, it was telling. I could feel his conflict. I could see the wheels in his head turning and I hated that it was so hard for him to tell me what he was thinking. I couldn't figure out if he was conflicted about telling me a lie or telling me the truth.

Only when I asked myself which I preferred did I figure out it didn't matter either way. As long as his answer was yes, I could work with that. But I could make it easy for him.

"I trust you," I said decisively, taking the choice from him. "I understand this can't be easy for you because it's not easy for me. But I can do this because I want you.

"I want our future to be as different as possible from our past. So, I'm trusting you with my body, in the hope that you will trust me with yours. We don't have to do anything we don't want to; it doesn't leave us without options. But I want you. I would love to make love to you. If that means taking you into my body, so be it. Maybe if you trust me enough one day, you'll let me into yours."

"Nice speech."

"Yeah? Do better."

He got up and pulled me off the couch. Leading the way, we walked into my bedroom. With the lights off and the only illumination coming from the light outside my window, he pulled me to him. I let him set the pace. I followed him when he directed our kisses; the slow start gave way to heat and want so fast, I couldn't catch my breath.

Falling onto the bed it took a moment to find a comfortable position. I was happy once he was back in my arms. Although I suppose with him leading, I was in his arms. It didn't matter when I couldn't stop kissing. licking and sucking on any part of his body I could get my mouth on.

I touched him with very deliberate intent. The aim was to arouse and annihilate any control he had. I wanted him as unbalanced as I was. But he figured out what I was doing and pinned me to the bed much like he had on the couch.

"You like this position, don't you?" I teased him.

"Of course. I can see you so much better like this." Proving his point by taking his time and studying my face before dropping his gaze and giving my entire body the same treatment.

"Fuck, Black..."

I wanted to touch him but he wouldn't let me. The more I tried the harsher he got and it was a shock to realize I liked it when he exerted his power over me. I had to bite my lip to keep my moan of pleasure from reaching him. Not that he had any trouble reading me. His biting hold almost as sweetly as his mouth on my increasingly sensitive nipples.

I tried to get the upper hand. Fighting his hold and touching him as intimately as he had already touched me. He didn't try to stop me from teasing him. He just gave back more than I could take. I was panting and moaning from his ministrations before I had the wherewithal to realize he had succeeded where I had failed.

"You are trying to distract me...you shit. Stay put and let me do this." He demanded when I tried to suck his nipple into my mouth in a last attempt to get him to stop holding back.

I would get another chance to tease him but I was too busy reacting to the way he was touching me. When he rubbed his fingers over my taint, I nearly came off the bed. The loud shout was harsh even to my ears. "Fuck...easy."

Except that seemed to be the permission for him to be anything but. He lubricated his fingers (his knowledge of the contents of my bedside drawers a surprise I couldn't fully explain) and teased me until I was begging him to go deeper. When he did, it still felt like he was driving a pole into me. The penetration and stretch heated my blood and flooded my senses until all I knew was Black.

How he was able to coordinate both the continuous jerking off and stretching was beyond me. I could barely string a sentence together with enough coherence to ask him. All I could do was feel. When he shifted above me and filled me up, all I wanted was more. More of him. More of the sensations he was giving me. More of everything and more after that.

He didn't disappoint.

Black may have been a jerk a lot of the time but as I came apart in his arms, I knew he was the right one for me. I knew I had made the right decision to allow this. Now, all we had to figure out was how to live with the consequences of the decisions we had made.