What Doesn't Kill You

Chapter 10

The wine was strong, the food was good and the company, if a little rude, was entertaining. I had mentioned it might be a good idea to ask White to join us but he turned me down.

"There's a time and a place for that and this isn't it."

"You're going to have to deal with your brother's existence in your world sooner or later," I told him between bites of my steak.

"Only because you brought him into it."

"No. Because you and he are connected in a way you can't escape. You might as well get used to it." Under my breath, I added, "How you've avoided it is beyond me."

"We're used to it. Don't worry about us."

"Fine. But when I have to talk to White, I'm not telling you about it. His business with me is his business with me."

We didn't talk for the rest of the evening. His mutinous silence was no longer as emotionally charged as it used to be. He wasn't trying to hurt me, at least not deliberately. I assumed he was processing whatever was going through his head so I ignored him and went about my business.

"Would you prefer it?" Black asked. "Prefer him?"

I was checking the end-of-day financial report and didn't answer immediately.

"What are we talking about?"

"White. Would you prefer White over me?"

"I thought we went over this? Just because you look the same doesn't mean you are the same. I definitely have my preference," I assured him with a smile.

"That's my point. Wouldn't you prefer somebody willing to be what you needed?"

Call me an idiot, because it took me a minute to realise what he was talking about.

"I already told you I trust you with my body. If I'm desperate enough, I don't think I'll have any trouble finding a hole to put my dick into."

"Nice."

"You get my point. It's not just sex. It's sex—with you. And I don't care how we do it as long as we both get what we need."

"Maybe that's the problem," Black said cryptically earning a raised eyebrow from me. "I'm not getting what I need."

It took everything in my power not to leap for the most logical assumption. If Black wanted to leave, he'd have already left. But I didn't know what he meant and I was almost too afraid to ask.

"What do you need?" I asked feeling my heart constrict in my chest as I imagined his answer.

"Maybe you should try taking charge sometimes instead of just waiting for me to do it?"

Only Black could make it seem like his desire for me was a flaw in my character.

"You're an asshole," I told him without apology. "But if you want this, you have to ask me. You have to let me know you want me like that."

"Fuck you," He shouted and slammed the book he hadn't been reading shut.

"Isn't that a bit too cliché? What you should say is, 'Fuck me.'"

The punch to my face was all too familiar. I knew he wanted me to force him. To take the choice from him like I had before. To make it so he didn't have to capitulate to my desire—or his own. But I was done making decisions for us both. If he wanted me, he'd have to make that clear.

"You can fight me all you want," I told him rubbing the tender spot on my face, "I'll be in the bedroom when you're ready."

I made my way to the kitchen for an icepack when I heard the front door slam. Wrapping the pack in a towel I pressed it to my face, disappointed but not surprised that Black had chosen to run instead of facing me. I wanted to lie down but before I could make it more than a few steps, I felt his arms go around my waist and his mouth press to the back of my neck.

He hadn't left.

I put my arms over his and waited.

"I want...I need you to fuck me."

I turned slowly. Tossing the cold pack blindly, I reached for him. I wanted to devour him (and there would be time for that) but first I kissed him gently. I held his face, run my fingers through his hair and pulled him tight against my body. I could feel his arousal just as, I knew, he could feel mine.

"Whatever you want," I assured him when we finally came up for air.

"I was gentle; careful with him like I had never been with anyone else. Conscious of the fact that this was a gift. Tender and fragile. One wrong move and it would all be over; shattered into a million pieces I would never be able to put back together. I wanted him to feel only good things. To know pleasure so profound he would never want to go back to the time before there was me.

So, when I pulled him into the bedroom and took off his clothes, I let him know how much I appreciated his body. When I sealed my mouth over his cock, I wanted to drive him crazy. When I penetrated him with my fingers, I wanted to tease him and prepare him and show him he had made the right decision.

When I finally joined our bodies, it was not with careless, selfish need but a controlled and measured assault on all his senses. I knew I held him too tight as we rocked back and forth but he held me just as close. When I felt him shudder with the start of his orgasm, I knew we were finally free from everything our past had created. I followed him into ecstasy and held him in the aftermath.

"Do you understand what this means?" I asked him.

"You're not going to ascribe some profound meaning to sex, are you?" Ever the bored cynic, I didn't let Black dissuade me.

"Of course, I am."

His groan was dramatic, "I know I'm going to regret asking, but what does this mean?"

"It means you love me," I said prepared for a violent response that didn't come.

"I've always loved you...even when I hated you."

How could he say something so earth-shattering with the casualness of telling me about the weather? I wasn't done needling him and I turned him to face me before placing a kiss on his mouth.

In a whisper, I said, "Except now you trust me too."

"Yeah," he said with a sigh, surprising me again. "Don't make me regret it."

"I won't."

THE END

[Author's note: That's it. A little something for Black and Todd...and you.
If you've reached this far, I'd love to hear what you thought. Leave a comment, a like and feel free to share this story with anyone you think might like it. If you'd like to give me some feedback, fill in the form in my conversations or follow the link in the first comment.]