Cadence

28. Funeral

Cadence

White roses packed in bundles line the pews, each flowers thorns clipped from its stem. Many people are sat on chairs and cushions on top of the wooden pews.

Many of Bens family and friends. Including his mother Angie, auntie Carol, uncle Damien, George and of course Hope and Jules. Some of George's friends that knew Ben came too.

Nicolas sits next to me as the videos and pictures of Ben roll on the screen bellow the cross. Bens closed casket on the right hand side.

He never wanted an open casket funeral. He said why would I want people looking at me all ugly and dead that's gross. I smile when a picture of me him and Jules pops up.

It's from the day we snuck into our old school, all of us laughing whilst sitting on desks. A tear rolls down my cheek when an image of me and him splashing each other in a pool is shown.

The song sparks by Coldplay playing through the speakers above our heads. I hear sniffing from my left when images of him and his family start to show, his bright smile beaming at the camera.

His straight teeth and eyes slightly crinkled at the edges. Another tear slips free. And more sniffles can be heard.

Nicolas puts his arm around me, pulling me into his side and rubbing my shoulder through the fabric of my long sleeve black dress. I lean into him, finding comfort in his body heat.

"It's okay. I'm here." He whispers, and I sniffle seeing more pictures of me Jules and Ben.

The music slowly dies out and the pictures stop playing. Jules starts sobbing into Hopes neck and Bens mother cries into her tissues.

I have to stay strong for them. They all need someone to comfort them.

Standing from my seat I walk to the front of the church, I smile weakly at them all before speaking.

"Bens heart was a garden of love that he showered all of us with for the time he was in our lives. With the time he was in my life I cherished every single moment I had with him. From when we were young I would always look up to him. We all wish we had more time with him, he had so much more to live for, so many things he could've done. I have so many amazing memories and stories with him, that will forever hold a special place in my heart. I remember when I was merely seven years old and no one but him and Jules came to my birthday party. He had a heart of gold. I'm proud to say that he was my best friend and will remain my best friend until I pass on and find him in the clouds. I love him so much. May he rest in peace." I sob, I look out to the crowd, seeing his family and friends crying even harder at my speech.

Tears stream down my face. And I let them. They roll down to my chin and drip onto the podium I stand at, Nicolas offers me a smile and I falter.

Stepping down I make my way back to my seat beside Nicolas.

"I'm so proud of you malyshka, I love you, more than words could ever say." He kisses my forehead and wraps me in his strong arms.

Protecting me from the reality of this horrible destructive world. Away from the pain and heartbreak.

Then I hear footsteps, peeking out of Nicolas' arms I see George stepping up to the podium.

He lets out a shaky breath and begins, "Hello everyone, I'm George. Bens boyfriend. Ben was my best friend. The person who I talked to every morning and the last person I talked to before bed, I was lucky enough to explore life with Ben for about a year. He was the person who knew me best and saw me at my highs and lows. He was always there for me, pushing me to be better and to spread positivity." He wipes a tear before continuing.

"He was the person that I loved the most in this world, I know he would want us to be strong and to be as positive as we can through this time. He would want us to know that we have him watching over all of us. I know he's in heaven and I can't wait to see him again and give him a big hug. I'm sorry. I can't. Urm. I love you Ben." Is all he says before walking down and sitting back down. Tears streaming down his face.

I cry harder. I hate this. I hate that he's gone. I hate that I can't talk to him anymore. Can't see him anymore. I would do anything to just hear his voice again or to just see his face covered in his signature smile.

It's harder this time. Harder than when my parents died, they lived their lives. He barely lived. Barely got to see the hood parts of the world. He didn't get enough time with anyone.

Angie and Carol sob as more pictures start playing again, ones from his childhood. Him in his little cowboy hat and pink cowboy boots.

I just can't believe it.

He's really gone.

AN

This chapter broke my heart, I sobbed writing this. This chapter wasn't as long as my past ones but I hope you like it.

Word count 918