In a Dream (2d x Reader)

Alleviate The Sense Of Solitude

I sat alone on the cushion seat. Away from everyone else. They all decided to just give me space. I....I just needed to find myself like russel said but it was hard. It's hard to gather clues about what you are feeling when you don't even know what your feeling in the first place.

I heard light footsteps from behind me. Stuart then walked in front of me and handed me a cup of tea.

"Ere'...for yew luv....I-" Stuart stopped talking. He didn't want to annoy me.

"Thank you." I said taking it. He nods his head and walks off. I take a sip of the tea and then place it back down on the coffee table. I felt numb. I...felt like I...I'm I even a human? Why cant I figure out my feelings.

30 mins time skip

"Y/n, want to take the bed doll?" Russel said placing his hand on my shoulder.

I slowly look up at him. I felt dead.

"no. take it. I'll be fine." I said looking back at the small lit candle on the coffee table.

"You want to talk now?" He said.

"I'll be fine Russ. Get some rest." I said not even looking at him.

"You sure?"

"Mhm." I lean my head on the chair.

"Alright mm, goodnight doll." He said rubbing my head.

Murdoc was passed out on another cushion chair. Stuart was in the bathroom. Paula was already in the bed and so was noodle.

Russel turned off the main light. The small candle in front of me was the only thing giving us light. It was a wood wick candle which were my favorite. The pops and crackles of the wood wick made me feel comfort. But I still felt dead inside. I felt....I don't know.

I close my eyes attempting to fall asleep. To maybe wake up and just hope tomorrow is better than today. But no, my eyes open back up. I cant fall asleep.

I hear Stuart open the bathroom door. He turns off the bathroom light. He feels my melancholy and sorrow. He bends down in front of me and he places his hands on my thighs.

He just looks and me and I look at him. He grabs my hands and we both stand up.

We were going astray again.

He opens the door quietly while still holding my hand.

We walk in silence in the yellow tinted halls. We make it to the front desk where the front men was passed out in his chair. Stuart takes us both outside. The cold air hit my face. We began to walk on the cold sidewalk still not saying a single word.

We soon make it to an empty street where a tree was planted. Then another. And then another. We slowly made ourselves in the small forest. There was a small bridge in between all the trees.

Stuart and I sat below it.

Silence.

"I-I'm so tired Stuart. I'm tired of feeling nothing." I say breaking down. He pulls me onto his chest. He holds me. I attempt to take a deep breath. I didn't want to have a panic attack, not again.

"I know, I know how et feels to feel nofing." He says still holding onto me.

"I feel emotions that I can't...I cant put in words." I said looking at him.

"Like when someone asks yew how yew are feeling and yew say....I don't know what I'm feeling." He knew exactly how I felt. He understands me. He isn't just like anyone else that would call me insane.

"Y-yea...actually exactly like that. I'm tired of saying that. I'm tired of being unknown of who I am or what I'm feeling. I want to settle on emotions that I'm not actually feeling. The thing is...I don't want to lie...or fake a smile...I want to feel an emotion and express it. I want to tell people that emotions that I'm feeling but I just can't." I said.