I was in and out of consciousness, the first half being in a lot of pain, but then I assumed Clint gave me the Grief serum because I couldn't feel anything anymore. I swam in darkness for a long time, looking at nothing and then I was tugged downward and thrown on the floor.
I groaned and sat up, feeling a soft sheet and sponge-like bed. Everything around me was white or gray. I looked around, confused about where I was. I stood and walked to the door. This place looked so familiar but I didn't know why. The doorknob was cold under my hand and didn't turn fully. I turned it harder and pushed against the door, begging to be let out.
I stood back and ran at it with full force. The door gave way and I stumbled into another room. This one was also white, but had multiple monitors up on the wall. Each one showered a different part of the Glade, with the first boys waking up and shouting with confusion.
I turned when a voice called me and I stood next to a lady with blonde hair. The same one who has been talking to me in my dreams. "We can't do this without you guys. A sacrifice has to be made."
"Even if you kill your only child?" I spoke back, but it wasn't fully me.
"The salvation of the greater good is worth every sacrifice."
Someone else called me. I turned and I was in the deadheads. A boy ran towards me, but I had no fear. He was familiar, like the back of my hand, or the inside of my eyelids. I knew him. He was the one who protected me and was with me since day one of the Glade. He was Nick.
But it didn't make sense. These were supposed to be my memories. How was he here?
My head pounded and I was on the ground, blood falling over my eyes. Nick and Matt fought in front of me and it was like everything was in slow motion. Matt twisted Nick's neck and he fell over. Every memory I had with Nick resurfaced and I screamed, getting up to run, but I slipped backwards and landed back on a bed.
Again the walls were white, but this time I couldn't get up. I was strapped to the bed, only my head loose. The same lady from before stood next to me, tears in her eyes. I recognized her as my mom now. "Jane, you're not supposed to remember."
I gritted my teeth, glaring at her like my eyes were daggers. "You're a monster. You took my memories, twice."
"I was only trying to protect you."
"Protect me? Do you know the shit I went through in that Glade? And you sent me up there."
"Of course I know that!" She yelled, her composure broken. I don't think I have ever seen her like this. "Who do you think killed that boy? Made the others think he was already dead."
My eyes widened at her confession. "It was you?"
"It was always me. I am sorry I couldn't prevent anything with Matt, I was already scolded for the first one." The tears in her eyes slipped down her cheeks. "But you are alive. And that is all that matters to me."
"Nick is dead." I choked on the words, leaning my head back onto the bed. There wasn't even a pillow this time.
"There was nothing I could do for that. I can't bring people back from the dead."
"How am I even here right now?"
"It's your subconscious. I could get into it any time I wan't. This is when you were your most vulnerable."
"Jane, please wake up."
It was Newt's voice, clear as day.
I looked up at the lady, refusing to acknowledge her as mom. "Fix their memories, they deserve to remember him as he was, not your lies."
She nodded and disappeared. I was thrown back into darkness.
I heard noises when I came too. Sniffling and the sound of clothes shifting. I peeped my eyes open and saw Chuck sitting in the chair next to me. His hand was holding mine, his other one wiping his tears away. I snorted and then groaned. "Hey Chuckles." My throat was still hoarse from screaming it raw and not having water while I was out.
"Jane!" he threw himself on top of me, crushing me with a hug."You're up!"
"Yeah, get me a glass of water would you?"
"Okay. I'll tell the others you're awake too." He ran out of the room and I decided I needed to sit up. My joints ached and I wondered how long I was out for. It couldn't have been that long, though my stiff bones doubted that.
I raked my fingers through my hair, sure that it looked a mess. I looked down and realized that I was wearing different clothes when I passed out. There were pounding feet coming up the stairs and I recognized the uneven gait of Newt. He was in my arms before I could even stand up.
"You bloody shank, don't ever do something like that again." his tears were warm on my shoulder.
I laughed. "I don't plan on it." Chuck came in, glass in his hand. I snatched it from him and guzzled the cold water without thinking twice. I let out a loud groan when I finished the water, butting the cup down on the bedside table. "Thanks Chuckie." I smiled at him, then looked around, noticing how empty the room was. "Where's Minho?" Both Newt and Chuck turned away from me. "What?"
"Well, he hasn't really said anything, but he feels guilty."
I frowned. "Guilty? Why?"
"He thinks he could have prevented you from getting stung, or even running out in the Maze. He said he knew you didn't feel good, but you still wanted to run."
I sighed. "I had to get my memories back somehow."
Newt stared at me. "Was it worth it? What do you remember?"
Everything I witnessed while I was out came to mind. My head hurt with this relearned knowledge and even new stuff I remembered, and even still; I told Newt everything.
"I remember Nick." He said when I was finished with my story. His eyes filled with tears. "That's screwed up, messing with our heads like that."
I nodded without saying anything. A part of me wished that I didn't remember him. The pain of him being gone for good hurt more than not knowing who he was. But the other part, bigger than the former, was glad I had memories of him back. Reminded me why I had kept on.
"Did you know she was your mom this whole time?" Newt asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"I didn't. I've always had these dreams of her and it kind of alluded to the fact that I was her daughter, but there wasn't enough evidence."
"I knew that boy dying was a bit weird. He hardly caused any trouble in the Glade, didn't even really say anything about you when you first came up. It's weird that they would make us believe that he had already been dead."
I shrugged. "She saw it as protecting me. I don't know how. It turned the whole Glade against me."
"Not me."
I smiled. "Yeah. Thanks. By the way, how long was I out for?"
"A couple days." Chuck answered. "Everyone's been weird since you've been stung." I frowned. What did he mean by that?
There was a knock on the door. We looked up to see Alby. He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. He looked absolutely wrecked, but he still managed to be gentle. "How are you doing Jane?"
"Better."
He nodded. "Up for a gathering?"
