The French Formula (LSD, #3)

13. Still Loving You

Still Loving You

Today is Talkative Thursday. The day starts with Doc talking to his patients during his office hours. Around dinner, we can enjoy the 50 Good Cop, Best Cop players who'll use their most convincing words to make others change their minds. We'll finish the day with the romantic words at the Poetry In Motion Contest. But first, I need a word with Doc.

"What would the financial value of G.O.D. be? If you would have its formula, if you could produce the drug, how long would it take you to sell it and earn, for example, half a million US dollars?"

Doc lifts a suspicious eyebrow: "Did you find the formula?"

"Don't answer my question with another question, please. This is a matter of life and death. Imagine I have a container full of little bottles. The medicine looks like water. Each sip gives instant success at everything you do, and you piss on even the most advanced doping control. How would you make money with G.O.D.? What's the marketing plan? How long would it take you to earn half a million US dollars?"

Although Doc worked hard to find the formula, he never prepared the next steps: what to do with it when he finally got it. He says: "Time. It needs time. It needs to be tested..."

"It's already tested, and it works. I have it right here. Look."

I take three capsules from my pocket and show them to Doc.

"Where did you get them? Have you already tried it? How does it work? How long does the effect last?"

I take a deep breath: "Doc, please! Don't answer my question with other questions. How long does it take to make half a million with it?"

I put the three capsules back in my pocket. There's no need to distract Doc's attention. Of course, it's not G.O.D. that I have under my thumb. The capsules contain OC-V 340 (a.k.a. Tumble Tornado), a strong and immediately effective sleeping gas. Last night, I looked into the barrel of Luigi's loaded gun. Others play this game by their own rules. From now on, I'm prepared.

Doc is back in calculation mode: "There's direct marketing and there's indirect marketing. Direct marketing is when we go out to meet one or more players of upcoming Games and convince them to buy our product. We'll recoup our investment against future profits. Indirect marketing is when we sit and wait until a patient comes in who's interested in buying our solution for her problem."

Doc falls quiet. He's thinking. I try to make him think aloud by dropping a suggestion: "Direct marketing gives more, better and faster results?"

"It's not a matter of if-if. It's a matter of and-and. When we want to make money fast, we have to use every tool available. Selling G.O.D. for half a million is easy: find someone who can earn a million by using the drug. But we don't find them here. The players of the European Games will not invest in success enhancers because they don't make any financial profit if they win. It's probably easier to use the drug yourself and win your 500K."

I see the problem. A good salesman always looks at the product through the eyes of his clients. Direct marketing means «follow the money»; it only works when the one you talk to has the money you want. If there's no money to win, nobody wants to pay for the costs.

"And how about indirect marketing?"

Doc knows about that too: "Indirect marketing means «looking for trouble». Healthcare is a good example: if you have two options, an expensive operation or a quick death, you will even sell your grandmother to get the operation. If the problem is big enough, you'll pay any price for the solution.

» The strategy of modern indirect marketing starts with causing problems, so you can sell the solution later. Most advertising and commercials work that way. Take wrinkles; they are a gift from Mother Nature, Her reward for living many years and facing many problems. Wrinkles are like a gold medal for life experience, visible to everyone, so they can treat you with the respect you deserve. What do our greedy companies think of wrinkles? They see an opportunity to make money with them. First, they brainwash the public: «it's impossible to live with those ugly wrinkles». Then, they offer to solve those horrible self-inflicted problems. No. They solve nothing; they sell you a treatment, which you'll have to repeat often. Hardly effective products sell much better than efficient solutions..."