60 Seconds

Chapter 31

This night kinda reminds New of his 15th birthday. Those memories, their memories, that he kept in him for a very long time the reason to continue chasing him.

This kind of night is also when he thought they were making progress. New just waited for a confession that he wasn't the only one feeling that way but he didn't get one.  

They used to say that you get what you put up with. Because of this, New believes he deserves to suffer. He shouldn't waste time waiting. He should have asked what the night meant to be. What is the significance of the lovely moments they made and the particular treatment they gave each other? and the most important part, he shouldn't make him his world—universe. Maybe they will not be in this position. They could have avoided the pain that followed. 

But he can't deny that that kind of night was too special to end. He wanted the time to stop and be with Tay close like this. It's impossible, he knows, but it wouldn't hurt that much, hoping it would be possible. Everything that happened today was truly unexpected, they just fought a few days ago and it was not just a simple fight. It's a big fight with all those revelations.

When New finds out that Bella already confessed everything she was hiding—which is his last bullet to expose her and make Tay realize she is not the kind of person he knows—he thinks that this is the end. He believes that her sister is just manipulating Tay but it turns out it wasn't. Tay will be there and choose her no matter what. No question, no second thoughts. 

That made New even more furious and envy her sister. Everything is unfair when it comes to him. She was loved by everyone, even his own friend chose her side because she was an angel. She's the type of person who wouldn't hurt anyone. Unlike him, he will be the prime suspect when something bad happens. To be honest, it's quite logical when Bella only shows her good side and New never afraid to show his feelings but what he doesn't understand is they were still treated the same way despite knowing the truth is. She was still seen as the same as before like she didn't do anything—she didn't do anything to hurt New as if they refuse to believe everything that made the younger even more hopeless than he already is. 

A lot of questions popped into his head but one thing he wanted to ask. What about him? It might sound weak but that's all he could think of. He has never been so hopeless, it's like he is facing the wall, the end of the story. 

He felt defeated as fuck. He hates it. He hates it so much that he wants to scream to let this anger get out of his chest. Is there anything else he could do to fix this mess? His body dropped on his own.

New was put in a position where he had to go against everything he believed in, to the point of forgiving people who caused him to have what he was because he didn't have any choice. This or suffer even more. He needs to open his heart to giving Bella a chance when he is not ready because he is just an 18-year-old powerless student who doesn't have any safe place to go. 

He realized that this rage that was living in his heart wouldn't let him live peacefully when he didn't have any foundation to stand on his own. He still depends on his mother and sister. 

He hates that he needs to do those things just to heal from the things that were not his fault.

He stayed in his room for a couple of days. Locking himself until midnight strikes and everybody is in their own room. He felt bad that Off was sleeping in the other room because of him. He just wishes that he wasn't stuck on this island and forcing himself to live with these people, that might be easier for him—and for them. 

Being alone is not a bad idea as it sounds but it wasn't also good. Though New would rather spend his time inside his room than force himself to go outside. This is considerably more peaceful and.... depressing at the same time.