BUILD ME UP (GOD'S EYES SEQUEL) RODDY RICCH FANFICTION

Chapter 51

HeavenLeigh POV

7:00 AM

"It feels so good to make it this far
And I didn't think I could take it so long
There were days I wanted to quit
I said surely this is it but I held on" I sang.

I was playing the piano this morning and singing in the living room while my baby girl was upstairs asleep.

Just needed some alone time with God right now. I just felt weak right now, emotionally, but I still trust in the Lord. And I know I'll be okay.

"And I watched as so called friends turn and walk away
It hurt so much I didn't have words to say
But even when my day turns to night and nothin' seems just right
Lord, I thank You for, for my life" I sang.

"Glory, hallelujah" I mumbled as I played the piano softly, closing my eyes again, tilting my head back.

I felt my eyes watering up because soon as I closed my eyes I thought about Roddy.

I hate how he's acting. But what can you do?

He's not even home. It's like he's never home now. And then, when we're both home, we end up arguing.

So I've just came to the conclusion of some things today.

"For my life, Lord, I thank You
For every victory in You I've seen
And all the moments I know it was You who kept me
So I thank You for, for my life" I sang.

A tear rolled down my face as I kept going.

"And if I never live to see another day
There is nothin' I would change or take away
I've had so many ups that they far outweigh my downs
Lord, I thank You for my life" I sang.

And I couldn't help it anymore, I just started sobbing.

And sobbed.

And sobbed.

"God I don't understand" I sobbed as I stopped playing the piano and I buried my face in my hands.

"I'm so devoted to you Father I don't understand why this is happening" I cried.

"All my life I dedicated myself to you God, and then I was able to share that love with another soul, which was Roddy. And show him more of You! Make You more known to him and I did! And I feel like in a blink of an eye it was over." I cried.

I was so upset.

"And I still love and believe in you God, yes Lord, I love you Father. You just really hurt my feelings.." I sobbed as I fell to the floor.

"God why?" I asked.

Nothing has been going right for me lately and I just simply don't understand.

And I've came to the conclusion what I have to do with Roddy and it just hurts me so bad.

"I vouched for you Lord everyday, since I was five years old. Preaching! I'm not perfect but I always have Your back Lord, always no matter the circumstances. I will never understand why You would want me to be so empty inside from this. I don't know God, I'm just confused. I'm sure this is a test of faith, and I promise You I won't lose it during this time." I said as I calmed myself down, and just sat on the floor, wiping my tears.