You Have Never Scared Me

What I Knew

 Hi im enid and im really happy! even though weds says my spelling is always wrong and stuff. she said she rad serial killer diaries with better punctuation, to be exact. whatever. yoko says im doing great, anyway. weds is my roommate. shes a goth. shes really mean sometimes, but on the inside i know shes really sweet. she protects the people she cares about, anyway. were best friends! 

 she won't admit it yet, but i think she knows we're friends. anyway! today is a great day. i slept a ton last night without accidentally turning myself into a wolf. when i'm with weds, i can control myself better. not like with ajax. shes so cool tho!

 when i woke up she was in the shower. i sighed. i had to wait to see her. god i hate it when that happens! i just wanna hang out with her so bad. when im with her i can control the wolf inside me. when she's out on the grounds nearly killing herself i get worried. is that really so bad? when she get out, she ignores me and walks straight to her desk, sitting down. her hair is already braided. 

 "weds?" i asked.

 she didnt answer me. maybe she doesnt like the nickname.

 "wednesday?" i try again. she still doesnt respond.

 "ok wednesday i'm sorry about the nickname."

 no response.

 "i'm sorry i hugged you yesterday?"

she still wont answer; now im getting sad. what did i do?

 "thing, please inform enid i dont wanna speak to her anymore," wednesday said. "tell her why."

 i look around as thing comes onto my bed and begins signing, "wednesday doesnt want to talk to you anymore because of what her parents said to her, it made her so sad she sat down while you were gone and stared at her knees and ..." 

 oh shit. my heart was literally breaking for wednesday. i knew perfectly well what it felt like to have your parents disappointed in you... i was hoping wednesday wouldnt have to deal with that pain. wednesday was so... elegant. i couldn't think what the fuck shed done to make her parents mad. was it sneaking out to stop tyler?

 "what did her parents say?" i asked thing softly.

 "thing, don't you dare say it," wednesday said loftily. 

 "come on, you can tell me, were friends," i said.

 "exactly!" wednesday swung around her chair and got out of it, crossing to the line separating our sides of the room. she was almost yelling. my heart broke a little more for her. "exactly, enid, you think were friends! and i know we've been through a lot of things together, but enid... you have to understand, my parents dont get friendship, they want me to be coldhearted. i can't have friends! i can't afford it, it turns any serial killer into a complete mushball! i can't do friends. i can do what i can to solve mysteries, try to get them to approve of that, but... enid. they heard that you saved me yesterday, and they think im getting weak. they think i should have saved myself. they think i shouldnt need anyone else to get things done, they think i shouldn't have friends. they were... proud of me when i made you leave to yoko's room. they're mad, enid, they're mad that you saved me... they're mad that we're friends." 

 i was sad, but not for myself-for her. i needed her to be happy, i needed her to control my wolf. i needed her to be there, a solid barrier between me and danger, protecting, fighting, never giving up. there was no fucking way i would leave her.

 "weds," i said softly. for the first time, she didn't object, just looked at me with something in those beautiful dark eyes... nervousness? so she did care about me after all! "im not going to leave you. i swear you are going to try and kill yourself every time you get the chance, so i have to be here 24/7 to keep you alive. i know thats the problem but im not going. im staying with you, wednesday."

 she gave me a weird look, and i could tell no one's ever stuck up for her before. maybe that was why i needed to protect her so badly. because i was a wolf, and she was my master... and i would stick up for her until the very end. i needed her help; she needed mine. she had never had a real friend before. i felt the need to teach her what that felt like. 

 "i know," she said quietly, and she went out to the balcony to have some space. i didnt know if she was crying for the first time in ten years or what, but she looked so alone out there. maybe its cuz shes a tiny bit shorter, i dont really know. but i had to go out there and make her feel better... but she knew! she knew i wasnt leaving! 

 her hair still hadnt braided all the way, and the wind messed it all up. and as i watched her out there, against the balcony while the sun was rising, the wind carrying her free, black hair, in her too-long hoodie that went to her knees and her black and white sweater and her socks, a word crossed my mind that had never come up for anyone before:

 flawless.

 wednesday was flawless. and that was what i knew.