Love with a Nerd!

Chapter 13

Continuation.....

(At the canteen.)

Mari's Pov

Mari: "Hi guys!"
Boys: "Yo, whatsup Mari!"
James: "Hey guys! And Mari I'm not yet done with you."
Mari: "Yeah yeah, save your breath for later."
Daniel: "Let's just eat guys!"

While eating...

Jacob: "So Mari, I have a question."
Mari: "What is it?"
Jacob: "What do you hate aside from a man not treating a woman right?"
Mari: "With all honesty, I also hate seeing every little details, you guys know how observative I am, right?"
Boys: *agrees*
Mari: "Well you see, sometimes, seeing a little detail like for example, me and someone sitting together on a bench. She scoots a little away from me, giving us the gap between us. That hurts me and offended me in a way. With that, all night I would do a deep thinking. Like, "Am I that bad for her to act like that and be cautious to me?", "Did I do something that made her scared or something?", "Do I look like I will hurt her or harass her?" and so on and on until I didn't notice my heart was crying. Oh, how I wish I could be like the others, who are insensitive and won't care about the actions of others that could hurt me. How I wish, I wasn't observative and won't give a damn about what I see. I also hate it when people gave me silent treatment and would leave without a word. It's like a slap on my face that 'who am I to have their attention and respect'. I'm just a nobody to them, right? Haha. I hate how those little things gives a big impact on me and leave a scar on my heart. I can never change it. It's just how I am."
James: "Geez, sis. You're hiding those feelings of yours from us?"
Mari: "What can I do? I'm good at it and besides no one ever asked me if those actions of them are hurting me."
Daniel: "She has a point, James."
James: "I know."
Jacob: "Well, since you said your hates, how about your fears. What fears you the most aside from losing your mother?"
Mari: "What fears me the most is that telling my trauma to the person I love. That's because I would never know how they would react or what they would do after I told them my greatest sin. Disappointment? Angry? Disgusted? Scared? Hatred? Worst case, they could leave me and lose their love on me. I mean, I can't blame them if they'll do. What I did was very wrong and maybe they thought that I'm the typical perfect and no sins person. Well, surprise! I just told you my sin. My trauma is eating me out but I'll feel much better after letting it out and telling it to the person I deeply love. What's scaring me is that they could use it against me. I won't be able to fight for myself because I know it was true."
James: "Damn, sis! Why didn't you tell me this? You're suffering in the inside but your hiding it with your calm and composed outer self."
Mari: "Sorry, bro. No one would understand me. Even if I explain it thoroughly they would only say 'It's just a small thing, you can do it.' Well, I'm sorry to say this but it's not fucking small. It's fucking big. Big enough that it can't be measured. That's how I see it."
Daniel: "Again, James. She has a point."
James: "As much as I want to deny it, she does have the point."
Jacob: "Can you tell us why you always say you're fine when obviously you're not?"
Daniel: "Dude, you gotta stop asking her. She might feel uncomfortable already."
Mari: "It's fine. To answer your question, I always say I'm fine because that's just how it is. I cannot always say I'm not because I'm always feeling all down and shit. To make it short, saying I'm fine is better than saying I'm not because for me, I want the person that's talking to me to realize that I am obviously not. You could see that I am not. Why still ask? You could just question me straight forward. Like, "What's your problem?", "What's running in your head?", "Do you want to talk it out?", and so on and on. That's my way of telling people that I'm not okay. This world made me into this kind of me and I will never forget that."
James: "That's deep."
Daniel: "I should look out on you more, geez you deserve all the love, Mari."
Jacob: "That's true. You deserve to be spoiled with love, assurance, and a good treatment."
Mari: "Thank you guys."
Boys: "No need to be thankful. You deserve it anyway and we love you too dearly to make you feel alone."

Jane's Pov

*Heard the conversation*

In Jane's mind: "Fuck, she's been through that? All those years she's been hiding it. She really does need all the love and care of the people who are genuine to her."

Jane: "I should also be one of those people. Don't worry, Mari. I'll make sure to give you all the love and assurance you need." *she whispered to herself*

"I think I'm starting to develop my feelings for you."

To be continued.
Thanks for reading.
P.s. (that's what your author has been feeling right now)
Hehehe
Anyways, goodbye everyone!