The Darkness

Marvelous Marcela - Part I

My first and only boyfriend of a year broke up with me a day before my birthday. He no longer wanted to be with me. I was not ready and he was in a rush. The break up left me in a bad place. My friend tried to cheer me up by taking me to a party. The kids have been talking about the pills and.... because of where I was, I gave in.

FUCK YOU. You are going to make me cry.

Tears rolled off her eyes as her life, as it used to be, flashed across her eyes.

Once she had a taste of it, she found ways to get to more of  those parties. Her friend, after going out with her to a few of those, stopped and cut her off.

I don't blame her. I was a fucking bitch. I was horrible. I had great friends, and some of the best friends one could ask for. I took everything they told me in confidence and used it against them. I was so fucked up.

From one of those parties, she took few pills home and her dad found it. Despite her being a good kid through out, her family kicked her out.

Bless my grandma. She took me in. If it wasn't for her, I don't know what would have happened.  Things were falling apart - one after the other, and I was hopeless. And in one of those days I overdosed. I survived, for good or bad. I went to rehab and stayed there for 9 months.

Finally clean, she came back to her life again.

It was not the same. My family on my dads side completely disowned me and my moms side was scared of having me around. When I have to visit them, they hide every single fucking medication they have.

I tried hanging out with my friends.  but I don't think they want me around any more. They tried being nice and inviting me out, but you know when you can feel the awkwardness? I make some shitty excuses now to avoid them.

I've been clean, for almost 2 years now. But I am not me. I go my days like a zombie. I am finishing my school and graduating in few months. I will probably move away from this place and.... leave everything behind.