How does it feel to be half American and half Japanese? It's the feeling of loneliness, the feeling of not belonging, and the feeling of not being enough. Damn. It's not easy. I am not American enough and I am not Japanese enough.
Her father was on a trip to Tokyo when he met her mother. It was serendipitous. So many things had to go right for them to meet.
If her dad's supervisor had not fallen sick to make the trip, he would be back home in Boston. Her mom was in Tokyo because her friends coerced her to join them. The sightseeing trio asked the handsome American to take their photo, and ran into him at a restaurant hours later.
No it was not love at first sight. They started talking and my dad took likings for the shy girl on the group. It's very romantic, when you think of it. My dad and mom fell in love. Despite the cultural differences and the distance, they did not falter. They got married that bred them me - and my brother.
Serena's eyes were twinkling as she talked about the fairy tale that a lot dream of and a few get to live.
It was not too bad when I was in lower grades. I was different but it was fine. It turned ugly around 6th grade. Out of nowhere, girls started bullying me because I was "not thin" and "different".
Serena is 5'5 and around 125 lbs. That's a healthy girl.
No. I'm not - not for the girls here. I don't really care at this point. Having bullied for almost 6 years, I'm past that.
Serena lived in the states for few months when she visited her dad's family.
I loved it. My dad's family is nice, although much more obese than my mom's side.
She laughed. She had that captivating and nervous teenage girl's laugh. A tint of her naivity and nervousness peeking through.
After I'm done with my high school, I'm moving to the states. I've good grades, and I'll make it into good school. That's why I don't care what these stupid bitches say, or do. They are dumb hoes.
A flare of anger sparkled in her eyes and the hatred embraced her face.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Sometimes it's hard to think about all the stupid shits they put me through and not get angry about it. I am a normal girl in all manners, but a social outcast because of their bullying. My life would have been so different if it was not for them.
Sports. Arts. Theaters. Serena loved them. She would have been a part of these if not for the classmates.
I'm not upset. I'm not upset. I'm not upset.
She said it as a mantra, trying to convince herself.
Everything will work out for me. I know it will. When I move to the states, in few months, I'll have a new life. And I'll make friends, who are more accepting.
"Have you heard of Lucky Girl Syndrome?", Serena asked.
"Lucky girls" tell themselves that everything always works out for them. I started using positive assertions. It's a mindset shift. And guess what, it works. I'll tell you all about it when i settle down in the states.
Serena laughed. Her eyes twinkled with excitement, her face bright with hope and promises of future.
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The Darkness
Fiksi UmumDeep inside there is a darkness that grows, the pain that throbs, the feeling of loneliness that doesn't go away. These are the stories they won't tell you even if you ask 👀. These are the stories they would not want anyone to know about 🙈. Thes...
