"Fuck it. Maybe he is not interested", I said it again.
The awkwardness of the situation weighed on us. After spending some more time at the coffee shop, we decided to walk around the city. I was not super excited. Fuck - I was really upset. I did not want to ruin my friends day by being upset. I was putting up the pretense and smiles on my face even when my heart was crying.
Harriet took the train home. The 20 minutes ride from the city seemed like years. Ryan's lack of response brought all her fear to the surface. Ryan rejected her. It was exactly the opposite of what she needed - attention.
As I walked from the train station to my apartment, every step seemed heavier. The 2 minutes walk took me 10 minutes. Once I was in the apartment, I screamed. I screamed my heart out. All the anguish that I had been withholding for hours manifested into tears. I was curled up into a ball while I cried on my bed.
Ding
My iPhone told me about the new message. My eyes were swollen by this time, but I could see that Ryan messaged me.
Hi
Fucking 6 hours. I was furious. I wanted to throw my phone away. Instead I messaged him back.
Wyd?
Nothing really. Hanging out with my friends.
My head conjured so many images. Ryan hanging out with his friends. In my head I saw him with girls. Jealousy? No - that's not me. I wanted to ask him why the fuck it took him 6 hours before he responded. I wanted to ask him about the friends he was hanging out with. I wanted to ask him...
Harriet told herself not to lose control. She went back to her trainings as a life guard, of being under water and calming herself.
Have fun.
No response from fucking Ryan. I was still seething, but I was much more calm now. He responded...
Harriet got over the fact that Ryan did not reject her. She told herself nothing really changed. They were still where they were at, which was nowhere. She was confused. Even when she did not want to admit it, she felt the intimacy with Ryan at the party. She was hoping for more. And with those thoughts in her head, she fell asleep.
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The Darkness
General FictionDeep inside there is a darkness that grows, the pain that throbs, the feeling of loneliness that doesn't go away. These are the stories they won't tell you even if you ask 👀. These are the stories they would not want anyone to know about 🙈. Thes...
