Little Talks ||Tyunning Story||

XXXVIII

27.05.2019
19:10 PM

I'm preparing dinner for me and Taehyun, he's having a therapy session and he will be home in a few minutes and I can't wait to surprise him with his favorite dish.
In this months Taehyun recovered really well, he gained weight and now he's only a little under his normal weight, he started boxing and he got a lot stronger and I'm so happy he's doing so well.
Still sometimes I worry about his wounds being beaten by someone.
His wounds got better, he almost doesn't have none, except for his waist, the shot and a small cut on his cheek.
We both have a lot of scars if we think about, but as he says <We are the survivors of this cruel world!> and I guess it's becoming a sign of pride for us.
<<Hyuka! Honey I'm home!>> He says coming towards the kitchen.
"Hi Sweetheart, how was the session today?" I ask him as he hugs me from the back.
<<I don't want to talk about those months anymore, she keeps putting them on the table, but I want to only think about us, I wanna live day by day and dream about our future... is it so hard and so bad to forget>> He says upset.
"No it's not, we should change therapist, we need someone who's ready to teach you how to turn page and live our life together" I say turning to him and giving him a kiss.
<<I love your body>> He says running his hand on my naked torso, I smirk putting my hands on his waist.
"Go change, dinner's ready" I say making him leave the room and putting the plates on the table.

<<Wah! You made this?!>> He says happy.
"Yes, all for you!" I say and he runs to hug me and give me a kiss on the cheek "Let's eat now" I say and we start chatting while eating.
<<You could be really a good husband>> I smile.
"Your husband though, I don't want no one else except you" He giggles and eats the first bite.
<<It's so good!>>
"Thanks"
<<Anyway I really think I need to change therapist, because whenever I'm alone I start being so anxious, it's almost suffocating... before I was scared but now it's like a phobia...I don't like feeling like this>> He says with a shaky voice.
I'm about to talk but he stops me, going on with his thoughts.
<<I don't like walking around this empty house>> He says as his leg start shaking, I take his hand and I smile.
"So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my Sweetheart" I say causing a faint smile as a couple of tears start falling from his eyes.
"You know it makes me cry when you give me those ocean eyes" I say and he tries to hold back as I gently stork his hand.
<<The stairs creak as I sleep, It's keeping me awake>> I look at him worried
"It's the house telling you to close your eyes" I reassure him, smiling innocently trying to comfort him and he smiles back, not as confident as I am.
<<And some days I can't even dress myself, I see myself in the mirror and I wish I was someone else, with a better body and with no scars>>
"It's killing me to see you this way because I don't want anybody else by my side if that's not you, you're everything to me... Those scars are the prettiest I've ever seen and you're perfect like this, just as you are... You should look yourself with my eyes and love yourself at least as I love you" I say trying to look in his eyes.
<<There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back from being me>>
"Well, tell her that I miss our little talks and that being you is the best thing that can ever happen to you" I hug him and he holds me back.
When we separate, he's smiling and I giggle "You're cute" I wipe his tears and I give him a kiss.

21:00 PM

I'm upstairs with Taehyun that is in our bathroom for a solid 20 minutes.
"Taehyun are you okay Sweetheart?" I ask him from our room.
<<Yes>> His shaky voice says the opposite so I stand up from our bed and I follow him.
His standing in front of the mirror looking at himself with tears in his eyes.
"Are you crying at your own beauty?" I ask him hugging him from behind.
<<You mean my ugliness>> He scoffs.
"What you say?" My tone rise as I continue the sentence.
<<Ugliness>> He repeats.
"Nah, that word doesn't exist in my vocabulary" I see him smiling at the mirror.
"Hold on" I say and I run down stairs taking a yellow marker and coming back "Okay let's make this scars even prettier!" I say taking of the crock and kneeing in front of him.
<<What are you doing?>> He says laughing.
"I'm drawing stars around your scars" I say nonchalantly.
And I start doing what I said drawing every star after every kiss, all over his body.
<<That's what I missed the most, your way of loving me>> I smile hearing those words, but I continue my work.
"Done!" I chant as I leave one last kiss on his cheek, drawing the last star, he laughs and I don't think I've ever seen someone this beautiful.
"Let me take a picture, this is worthy of an art museum" I say taking a couple of photos of him.
<<Now it's your turn!>> He says taking off my shirt, leaving kisses and drawing stars around my scars.
"You're always so gentle with everything you do... It's okay for you if we go to bed a little later tonight?" I ask him and he nods.
<<I miss that so much>>
"Me too" I say honest.
<<And done!>> He finishes giving me a kiss on my chocolate chip on the neck <<Pictures for you too!>> He says and I pose.
"Let's take one together" I get him on my side facing the mirror and taking a photo of us.
"I love you"
<<I love you too>> We kiss and I carry him on our bed.

I always loved every single little detail of you... I wish I could have changed the way that you saw yourself, you wouldn't have wandered why they don't deserve you.
I love you Sweetheart.