klamantha sat at a bar and drank her sorrow away, suddenly ellie walks in with a pink tie dye Hollister nirvana crewneck sweater hot glued together. it barely covered her musty musclely body, klamantha ran to her crying tears of joy. "THANK YOU FOR FIXING MY PINK TIE DYE HOLLISTER NIRVANA CREWNECK SWEATER!" she hugged ellie, and pushed her out of the bar. they frolicked off into Ellies house and swapped shirts, just to then take them off again. they slid eachothers pants off, and ellie went right back to where they were earlier, they have another aggressive make-out session on the broken bed, klamantha pulls away to catch her breath after all that must, she looks down and sees ellie still has her shoes on. "girl what the fuck take those foul disgusting zombie stomping middle school ass converse off!"
"I literally can't, they've become a part of my body, just dont worry about it babygurl😈" klamantha stops questioning it and ellie shoves her nasty ass fingers up in klamanthas cooch. she screams, and grips the sheets so hard they tear instantly, but she can feel that UTI creeping up on her already. ellie gives her a concerned look for a moment, but then starts giving her the most toe-curling tummy gurgling, uterus swirling finger linking good, KFC, STD gloppiest, moppiest, sloppiest toppy of her life. klamantha screams so high-pitched, every light bulb in a 20 mile radius shatters, glass falls on top of them. "HOLY SHIT BALLS YOU FREAKY DEAKY ASS BITCH!!" Ellie screams in fear.
"you have a beautiful voice girl, if I were a judge on X factor I'd give you a golden buzzer.😏"
klamantha creams all over the broken bed, and falls to the floor, puking.
"damn bitch do you ever shower?" klamantha cries.
"MY FATHER FIGURE DIED AND MY GIRLFRIEND LEFT WITH THE KIDS, AND THE WORST PART IS THAT I JUST FOUND OUT IM NOT EVEN THE FATHER! IM SO FUCKING DEPRESSED ALL I WANTED WAS YOUR FLABBY BAGGY GORILLA GRIP HOME DEPOT GORILLA GLUE PUSSY TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!" screams ellie.
klamantha stares at her sympathetically,
"you like home depot?"
"yeah, obviously its my favorite store of all time, im a raging lesbian..😔"
klamantha rises from her pile of vomit, and comforts ellie.
"I was always insecure about my vagina smelling like gorilla glue and duct tape.."
"well it's the grippiest shit I've ever felt, klamantha.. I think you're my soul mate." she replies.
klamantha stares at her shocked. before she can even say anything, ellie says, "I have a surprise for you, just keep your eyes closed.." she walks out of the room and klamantha shuts her eyes, ellie comes back and there are many scraping sounds coming from her, "open them now."
klamantha opens her eyes to see Ellie wearing a strap made out of zipties and carved our of plie wood.
