Jedtavius Oneshots/Headcanons (requests open!)

Caught in the Act

(A.U. for McPhee not knowing about the tablet for this. also, Jed and Oct are married in this, sorry for the jumping around, but I mean it is a one-shot book. anyway onto the story)

One night, Larry was running late. Dr. McPhee noticed this and called Larry, who immediately picked up. 

"McPhee, I'm so sorry I'm running late. I'll be there as soon as possible, I swear." Larry said, running to the museum. "Oh, don't worry, I can stay for a little, it's fine," McPhee said. Larry's eyes widened at the sight of sunset almost at an end. He then started running faster. "Uh, NO, it's not fine. I suggest you go home. I'll be there soon." Larry said, internally panicking. "No, I insist! It's quite alright, Larry. I'm going to hang up now, bye-bye!" McPhee said, hanging up. "MCPHEE DON'T HAND U- RGUHUDWAQERLUA!!!!" (yes that's a keyboard smash) Larry said, panicking.

--------the tablet was starting to work its magic---------

McPhee was sitting down at the desk, looking at the sunset. Everyone came to life (teddy and Rex stayed in place knowing that larry was not there bc they have eyes) (shit I just realized rex doesn't. yall know what I mean). 

Octavius woke up and ran to the wild west to see his husband. 

"Why, hello, amor vitae meae. You look quite captivating today." Octavius said to Jedediah, taking his hand to kiss it. "Well, hello there! Aren't 'chu such a cute Lil thing! There's no need for sweet talkin' me if all you want is a kiss!" Jedediah pulled his hand away and pecked Octavius's lips. Octavius was baffled by this. "Quid est?? I- quid modo factum est? Heu, luppiter, hoc me defende animo commoto!" (translation: what?? I- what just happened? oh, Jupiter protect me from this flustered emotion) Octavius mumbled to himself. He was quickly flustered, not expecting Jedediah to say something like that. 

"Aw, no need to get flustered, darlin'! Quid mali est homo aliquid amoris viro dare?" translation: What's wrong with a man giving a bit of love to his husband? Jedediah asked, flustering Octavius even more. "Since when have you known how to speak or even understand Latin?!" Octavius asked, surprised that Jedediah spoke Latin. "Bene, ex quo in relatione fuimus! quid aliud volo venereum loquitur tecum?" translation: Well, ever since we've been in a relationship! how else would I have romantic talks with you? Jedediah said, yet again in Latin. Octavius looked at Jedediah with love in his eyes. 

"Wow... I love you, you know that? My love for you is colossal." Octavius said. "Colossal? Well, ain't that a fancy word for huge?" Jedediah asked, then realized. His jaw dropped, slowly turning into an open-mouthed smile. "Aw, dadgummit. You know just how ta' sneak inta' my heart. I love you so much." Jedediah cupped Octavius's face, kissing him. Octavius kissed back, his arms around Jedediah.

~Meanwhile~

"AAHHHHHHH!!!!!11!!!1!!!!1!!" McPhee screamed, running away from Rexie. that's right, Rexie gave up on waiting for Larry. "Rexie! come over here right now!" Teddy yelled, chasing Rexie and McPhee. Rexie immediately turned around and ran over to Teddy. "What in bloody hell is going on?!" McPhee said, still running, but slowed down a little. He then realized he was in the hall of miniatures. "Oh, no. Not these little things." McPhee said. "I better lock up the Mayans-" He paused. He turned to his left to see two miniatures kissing in the wild west. 

"WHAT THE HELL?!?!?" McPhee yelled. Jedediah and Octavius broke the kiss and looked up at McPhee, who was panicking while in confusion. 

"Wha- You- Julius Caesar and- I'm sorry- WHAT IS GOING ON?!" McPhee yelled. "UH-" Octavius said. Jed and Octavius let go of each other and 'froze' in place. "...do they really think I'm gonna buy that?" McPhee thought. "Pst, do you think he's buying it?" Octavius mumbled. "Definitely." Jedediah mumbled back. 

Larry ran into the room. "McPhee! I-" "MR. DALEY WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING" McPhee yelled in confusion and fear. "McPhee, I can explain," Larry said, then turning to Jedediah and Octavius. "You guys can stop pretending. It's fine, he's the manager." Octavius and Jedediah 'unfroze'

"...I have got to be dreaming. It's fine. I just fell asleep. All I have to do is slap myself." McPhee said. He then slapped himself. "OW- DEFINITELY NOT DREAMING," McPhee said. "McPhee, I'm sorry. All of this is the reason I didn't want you to stay any longer. I'm sorry you had to find out this way." Larry said. "So, how's this all even happening?" McPhee asked. "And more importantly, how do these little things have the emotion of love???" he was then pointing at Jedediah and Octavius. "Hey, I'm not little, yer' just really huge!" Jedediah said, taking a step forward and pointing at McPhee. 

Larry sighed, then took a deep breath in. "Look, You know how Ahkmenrah, the mummy, has this tablet thingy? Yeah, that thing has a spell put on it where everything in this museum comes to life." McPhee took a long pause after hearing that. "hwAt?" "I probably should've explained it better, but now you know."

"Oh- my god." McPhee said, rubbing his forehead with his hand. "Well, you're lucky I've decided to make no changes with the museum. Nothing will be leaving anytime soon." McPhee said. "I'm leaving now. Too much has been going on tonight."

the rest of the night went on as normal, until the sun rose

(A/N: Hey guys! so so sorry this chapter is short and not very Jedtavius-ey. I just thought it would be a funny idea for McPhee to find out like this haha)