A Mafia's Obsession

CHAPTER 27

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains graphic depictions of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. Please proceed with caution.

Isang linggo na ang nakalipas mula nang mag-usap kami ni Mateo, at talagang ipinakikita niya na karapat-dapat siya sa second chance.

Ngayon, pupunta kami ni Mama sa presinto kung saan si Papa at si Kuya. Si Kyle naman ay nasa Lola Majika niya.

Kaming tatlo ni Mama ang pupunta, kasama si Mateo dahil nagpumilit siya.

“Sigurado ka ba sa desisyon mo, anak? Sabihin mo lang sa akin kung hindi mo kaya, uuwi na tayo,” sabi ni Mama, pero umiling lang ako.

“Okay lang ako, Ma,” I said. She sighed.

“Sige, lagi mong tatandaan andito lang ako, kami ni Mateo,” she said. I turned to Mateo, who was driving. He was focused on the road and didn’t even look at me.

When we arrived at the BJM Police Station, only Mateo and I got out. I was confused as to why Mama didn’t get out.

Taka ko siyang binigyan ng tingin. “Ma, bakit ‘di ka pa bumababa?” I asked, confused. She shook her head.

“Ayoko silang makita. Baka manggulo lang ako doon pag sakaling nakita ko sila. Dito na lang ako,” she said. I just nodded, it seemed she really didn’t want to go.

“Sige, Ma. Una na kami,” I said. She just nodded. I took a deep breath before entering the precinct.

“Ano pong maipaglilingkod namin sa inyo, Ma’am, Sir?” the police officer asked.

“Dadalaw po kami kay Arthor Cartier at Anghel Cartier,” I said. He checked the logbook.

“Pasok na po kayo, ma’am. Tapos po sa waiting area lang po kayo. Paki-hintay lang po sila,” the officer said. I thanked him and we went to the waiting area. Mateo was silent.

My heart was racing with anxiety. Mateo must have noticed because he took my hand.

“Hey, calm down. I’m here,” he said, trying to calm me down. But I became even more nervous when I saw two familiar men approaching us, both handcuffed. I was practically frozen in my seat when I saw the people I hated the most.

They both had beards now, looking older. Namayat sila at ibang-iba sila sa picyure na nakita ko.

“L-luliana, anak, ikaw ba ‘yan?” My dad rushed to me and took my hand. I couldn’t speak, probably because of my nervousness. I was even more surprised when he knelt down. Kuya followed suit.

“A-anak, s-sorry sa nagawa ni P-papa. Nalululong kami sa d-druga ni K-Kuya Anghel mo. Alam kong hindi madali ang m-magpatawad, p-pero sana mapatawad mo k-kami. Pinagsisihan namin ang ginawa n-namin,” he said, his voice trembling.  That’s when I fully regained my senses and tears streamed down my face.

“S-sorry, Luliana. N-nalulong din si K-kuya sa g-ganong edad. Nangako akong p-protectahan k-ka, p-pero kami mismo ang dahilan kung b-bakit ka nasaktan n-nung panahon na ‘yon. A-alam kong n-nakakadiri ang n-nagawa namin. S-sana mapatawad mo kami,” Kuya said, his voice cracking with tears. I finally broke down and cried. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.

I looked at them both. “Nung panahon na ‘yon, pinandidirihan ko ang sarili ko. Ilang beses kong sinaktan ang sarili ko, ilang beses kong sinubukan magpakamatay noong panahon na ‘yon dahil sa araw-araw na ganon. Hindi ko alam na buntis pala ako… nakunan ako ng walang nakakaalam, kahit na si Mama. Nabuntis ako sa edad na labing-anim. Sinubukan ko ulit patayin ang sarili ko, pero hindi talaga umubra. Kumain man ako ng lason, walang epekto. Buhay na buhay pa rin ako. Hanggang sa nagtuloy-tuloy kayo ng hindi ko kinaya ang... Kababuyan niyo, sinumbong ko kayo, pero hindi ako pinaniwalaan ni Mama dahil sa mahal niya kayo. Nakalimutan niyang may isa pa siyang anak… nakalimutan niya ako bilang anak niya.” I said, struggling to get the words out. I sobbed harder when I remembered the day they repeatedly raped me.

“Kinamumuhian ko kayo. Kahit si Mama, ang sabi ko, paglaki ko at may kaya ako, ilalaban ko ang anak ko. Kukunin ko ang hustisyang nararapat sa akin at sa anak ko. Pero hindi ko ginawa dahil m-mahal ko kayo,” I said. Papa nodded, and I felt Mateo's gaze on me because of the mention of my child.

Yes, I had a child. I was only sixteen when I got pregnant because of their repeated abuse, but he died because of their relentless assaults. Mateo didn’t know about that because he didn’t come with us when we visited my child’s grave.