A Mafia's Obsession

CHAPTER 28

We were all at the Eternal Garden, visiting my child. I named him or her Jose Leigh Cartier because I didn't know if he was a boy or a girl. There was a tent and blankets beside his/her grave, and we also brought some food.

Mateo wasn't with us because he had something to take care of. We would have been complete if he was here. We've been here for a while now.

Lumunok ako. "Kamusta ka, anak? Miss ka na ni Mama. Sorry kung hindi kita nagawang iligtas. Mahina si Mama, eh. Hindi ko alam na buntis ako no'n. Sa tingin mo, pag alam ko bang buntis ako no'n, magkasama tayo ngayon at kilala mo ang kapatid mo?" I started, my voice cracking with tears. I felt Mama's hand on my shoulder.

I took a deep breath. "Sorry kung hindi kita nagawang protektahan at hinayaan kang umagos sa mga binti ko. Hindi ko alam gagawin ko no'n, kaso-," I started, but I couldn't finish my sentence. I broke down completely, sobbing. Mama hugged me tightly.

I felt the stares of our companions.

Whenever I remember the time he left, I can't help but blame myself. Because of me, he never got to experience life.

My world is too cruel for my baby. My baby didn't have a chance to see the world-but I am thankful because he/she didn't see how miserable my life is.

"Sorry, anak, sorry. Patawarin mo si Mama," Mama whispered to me. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me, and I closed my eyes.

"Mommy, stop crying. Ate or kuya will be sad kapag na-kita ka niyang umiiyak. I don't want to see you crying. Masakit dito oh," Levi said, pointing to his chest with teary eyes.

I pulled him close and hugged him.

After we had our time to grieve, laugh, and reflect, we decided to head home. We needed to prepare for Mateo's birthday.

~~~

We're getting ready for Mateo's birthday now. I don't know if I can bring myself to tell him to try for a baby with me. There's nothing wrong with it, right?

"E, sister, hindi ba't ayaw ni Mateo ng mag-celebrate ng kaarawan niya?" Mama asked Tita Majika.

"I know, but since we have apo na and he turned 35, I want him to celebrate. Also, request naman ito ni Luliana," Tita said. I smiled.

"Grandma, where can I put this, po?" Kyle asked, holding the cake. He was helping us prepare for the surprise party for his dad. Instead of just entering the house, which he could've done later, he insisted on helping.

"Put mo na lang sa table. Kami na lang mag-aayos. Also, can you get us meryenda, apo? Thank you!" Tita instructed, while arranging the decorations. She sounded like a child.

"What meryenda do you want po, Lola?" Kyle asked. Goodness, even my son has become a conyo.

Tita Majika smiled. "Anything, apo. Thank you," she said.

"Mommy, Lola, may want po ba kayo ipa-get na meryenda?" Kyle asked Mama and me. I just shook my head.

So conyo of my son.

"Kahit ano na lang din, apo. Salamat," Mama said with a smile. Kyle nodded and turned to leave.

"Hindi po ba iyon magagalit, Tita?" I asked.

He hates celebrating his birthday raw, kaya expected ko na hindi niya nagugustuhan kapag isurprise siya.

"He will, but don't worry, he can't do anything kasi nangyari na, eh. And if I tell him it's you who requested this... hindi siya magagalit," she said, shrugging. I shrugged too and continued what I was doing.