the slow art of breathing bitter

Delirium

Daisy Young. 1983–2010.

You once said you'd be nothing without me,

I laughed at it because

I knew it was a simple inky thing

like a choco bar to a five-year-old kid.

You once hugged me close

and I took in your floral scent,

You said that without us, everything would be gone.

It did at a silver midnight.

You kissed me one last time,

and colored my lips cherry red,

Before you vanished behind the pale yellow curtains.

There was still time before the storm

to meet you and take you away,

But you didn't wait.

My call melted away, and you ran.

And slowly, we disappeared into a beautiful land

of falling apart forever and bleeding void.

Write me a love song, darling—

I miss our morning whispers and late-night kisses.

My skin itches in wanderlust

for you, only you.

Stay close; sing me a low lullaby

the trees, the sun, and the sky

have never heard of before.

Kiss me slow in anonymity—

a whisper of hurt and ache and guilt.

Kiss me before the North star

gets buried in the veil of blue scars with 

delirium and desire.

Your lips feel warm and blue at night.

Life's too short,

Shorter than bygone winter days;

Shorter than the time you require to finish your morning coffee;

Shorter than the second we pretended we were an us.

A mere speck of blood, water, and air.

I bled in misery, and you cried for mundanity.

Late-night cries are never

as beautiful as morning prayers.

But tears, oh, tears—

They stop my heart from burning in fire.

Fleeting to the early hours of winter dreams

makes me remember I'm here, right here:

In front of the mirror, smiling at myself,

My bare arms are tattooed on every one of your broken promises,

unread emails, and wasted excuses.

I bleed every night, right here.

You revolve in each of my afterthoughts,

and I hate to remember you again.

Because remembering you hurt way more

than burning in the igniting pain of sorrow.

The shortcoming of our silly fights and curses.

The last ray of sunlight is getting diffused;

I can see you walking faster.

But it's too late, dear.

My dreams are crushed on the first day

of fall, and I'm right here,

lying and breathing slowly, a cloud of

broken hope and sprouting disappointment,

and the last summer song we used to sing before.

Everything's okay

is just another damned promise and excuse

to yourself and me.

An apathy-stricken pair of eyes

grow wide, never moving away.

Lily and Daisy are an aching nightmare of aspartame.

I wish you were here now.

Never return lover

I hate remembering you again.

I've bled enough in your delirious obscurity;

I've cried enough for you to look back and run back fast.

While you had champagne to forget,

I had my razor.

Enough bruises, enough salty tears.

I want these to end now.

I want no one to remember this ageless tale

of aches, youth, and scars.

I want to erase this only thing of nostalgia and healing memories.

I want to stop pretending

that there can be us.

Just get our minds off the tangent.

This is my city now.

I smoke and laugh and dance on crooked heels.

Duality and dreams don't get along here.

So, stranger, back off. Run away.

A dirty tale studded with a diamond.

Where there isn't any you or us.

Just me dancing to the drum's sick beat.

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A/N: I guess it's right to go a little crazy at the wrong times and (maybe) tap the yellow star too ;)