It's Not the Same

Realisations

Warnings: Mischa's kind of an alcoholic

Mischa didn't believe that Noel was okay. He couldn't take his mind off of the poet. He only know one thing that could help him forget. I mean, it's what he'd been doing to forget since the accident. Drinking alcohol. He knew it wasn't good for him, but it helped. Surely that was all that mattered? So he drank. He drank a lot. But oddly enough, it didn't help. He still found himself thinking about Noel. Mainly how he felt about the poet. How he felt around him. Mischa thought back to the sleepover when Noel had kissed him on his cheek and how his face burned up. How he got butterflies any time they hugged. What was this feeling? He'd only felt this way for one person before. Talia. He messaged the girl, they'd decided to stay in touch after their break up.

Natalia Bolinska

Mischa : Talia, I need help.
Natalia : what's wrong Mischa?
Mischa : you know how I felt towards you? Like, romantic feelings? I think I feel that way towards Noel.
Natalia : and that's fine, Міша
Mischa : I have never felt this way towards a boy before. But I am not gay because I also like girls?
Natalia : There's more sexualities than gay and straight, Міша
Mischa : there is?
Natalia : yeah, you could be bisexual? Bisexual people like boys and girls.
Mischa : Thank you Наталія (translation: Natalia)

Mischa fell back onto his bed, if you could even call it that, it was just a matress on the floor. Bisexual? Maybe that's what he was. What would his mom think? He knew how difficult being gay in Ukraine was. His old "friends" used to bully kids for it all the time. He sighed, he wasn't in Ukraine, he didn't need to think about that.. But he couldn't help it.

Ocean and Noel had spent the day talking to the police and Noel's mom. Noel was advised not to go to school whilst the police were looking at the evidence against Jacob and they'd let him and his mom know if they had any updates.
Noel and Ocean were sat on Noel's bed. Noel was panicking slightly.
"What if he does something to Mischa?.." Noel was asking.
"Noel, Mischa's incredibly tough, and it was probably a bluff, okay? Mischa will be completely fine" Ocean tried to comfort him.
Noel just nodded sadly. He still didn't feel right. He still felt disgusted. He couldn't look at his body without seeing the marks left all over it. He didn't realise but he'd started crying again.
"Noel... Can I hug you?.." Ocean asked hesitantly.
Noel nodded and Ocean immediately hugged him close. She would comfort him as much a she could in this situation. She could only imagine what Noel was going through right now. she looked at Noel, "Noel.. uhm, if you don't mind me asking, do you like Mischa romantically?"
Noel hesitated before responding, " I- uhm... I guess I do.."
Ocean nodded, "I thought so....and that's fine, do you know his sexuality?"
Noel shook his head, "He's probably straight... I have no chance with him.. and don't even try to tell me otherwise.."
Ocean just shook her head, "Okay.. and don't worry, I won't say a word, I swear!" 
"Good, otherwise I'd tell Constance about your diary"
"You wouldn't!"
"Don't doubt me, I would"
"it's good I don't plan on telling anyone then"
Noel nodded, "Speaking of Mischa, I'm going to message him because he hasn't messaged me all day and I'm worried. He usually messages me a lot to ask about random stuff"

Misch<3

Noel : Mischa,  are you okay?

Mischa : yeh , i m vry fine, donoy woryh 

Noel : Misch, are you drunk?..

Mischa : nickneqmw makes me happipy

Mischa : andd yrs , vry druknk

Noel sighed and put his phone down, "We're going to Mischa's house."