The Love We Lost~||Hyunlixꨄ||

Kᴇᴇᴘ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪsᴇs~♡

Hyunjin was sure he looked insane on the cameras for standing still directly in front of Felix's apartment.

I mean if he was a neighbor and seen someone doing that, he for sure would be going inside and locking his door right away.

But he just couldn't bring himself to knock on the door. He was losing his shit over how to play this out, and unfortunately for him, there was no results on Google or YouTube on  'how to tell your ex that you texted them as made up person.'

All at once Hyunjin regretted everything, every action up until basically birth. He wanted to bury himself and never see daylight again.

One may think He's being dramatic, but he really can't handle confrontation or any form of embarrassment.

It was his fear.

He took a deep breath before raising his fist to the door. He went to hit his first knock, but instead ended up resting his knuckles lightly on the thick metal door, It felt cool under his skin.

He held his breathe and hit the door three times, each one with a hint of hesitation.

It was all around an awkward knock and Hyunjin wished he could've turned back time just to have a redo, but what was done was done.

Connn.. sssidering he could hear the faint sounds of footsteps getting louder and closer to the door.

When he heard the handle click he immediately squeezed his eyes shut, he wasn't ready to look him in the eye.

"Hyunjin," Felix questioned.

"H-hi," The older said through broken gusts of breath.

"...What are you doing?" The blonde asked, despite Hyunjin not being able to see him. He definitely still looked as confused as one in this situation should look.

"I'm.." He looked down, but finally opened his eyes, "I'm here because I- I really need to talk to you about something," he said in a low voice, his fists buried in his pockets.

Felix blinked innocently, before stepping away from the doorway, to let the older in.

"Sorry.. it's a bit messy," Felix muttered. He was embarrassed to have Hyunjin see the way he was living a little. Of course it wasn't anything extreme. In fact, there wasn't any actual dirt to be seen.

There was a blanket sprawled out on the couch, a cup in the sink, some shoes laying around, and a few papers laid out on the table.

Hyunjin stifled a laugh, although he was nervous, he couldn't help but laugh at the younger one's definition of messy.

It was honestly beautiful, the majority of it was sleek and white, with touches of different shades of grey. One carpet in the living room. The sofa was white, and as clean as can be. Lastly there was a glass panel that over looked the city. Hyunjin had always known Felix was rich, a lot of the wealth coming from his family. He never thought about it though, to him, Felix was just a person.

A person who made him happy, and taught him how to love.

"I like it." He said, his voice just floating above a whisper.

I like you.

He meant.

"Thank you," Felix smiled, "you can sit," he gestured to the couch.

Hyunjin wanted to decline, he didn't want to ruin the couch. Much like he didn't want to ruin his chance with Felix.. though he knew it was inevitable.

He slowly walked over and took a seat along with Felix, he sat on the opposite end. Already putting in distance, so he didn't have to feel the shift when he told him.

"Are you oka-"

"I did something to you that was wrong, and I completely understand if you hate me or aren't looking to forgive me," Hyunjin said, finally  removing his hands from his pockets and wiping the clamminess away on his pants.

"Okay.." Felix answered hesitantly, to him there wasn't anything that could make him hate Hyunjin.

"I've been.. missing you sense the day we ended Lix. I just needed you to hear that before anything else."

Felix's eyes softened, his heart feeling light and warm. It was a feeling bad hadn't gotten to feel in a long time. He's only ever felt it with Hyunjin, the only one who could enchant him like he did.

"But I- I.."

"Hyunjin- first I need you to look at me.." while Felix was already getting his hopes up, "I'll only take your words seriously if you look at me," he needed to make sure Hyunjin meant it. He needed to make sure he wouldn't regret anything he's saying.

Hyunjin slowly lifted his head halfway before pausing for a second, casting his sweet eyes up first, looking at Felix with look of so many emotions in one.

He lifted his head up the rest of the way, his mouth falling open, "I've missed you.. so bad.. but I- I'm- Sam."

After those last words left Hyunjins lips he felt as if the whole world might've gone silent.

No traffic sounds.

No other residents existing.

Silence.

"L-like.. Sam Sam.. my Sam?" Felix asked holding up his phone.

His Sam.

Hyunjin never knew you could be jealous over yourself, still he nodded.

Felix could hardly believe it.. yet- all the sudden his brain started to slowly connect the dots.

Hyunjin is Sam.

Sam is Hyunjin.

Hyunjin found him at the New Year's party.

Sam went to a New Year's party.

Hyunjin makes him happy.

Sam always cheers him up.

"Please say something.. I- I'm so sorry I lied to you. And I- I know this was wrong of me." Hyunjin stuttered out.

He could see everything passing through the younger at once. He was confused, sad, upset.

"Hyunjin.."

He said it calmly, despite his mood. He should sound angry, he should cuss and kick Hyunjin out. Except he didn't, which makes it harder for the older to stand up and walk out himself. Hyunjin just wanted to comfort him and say sorry a countless amount of times, but he wasn't sure the younger would allow it.

"I'm sorry."

The small boy shook his head, "Remember.. when we first started dating we- we made promises to each other. You have to keep your promises now Hyune. N-not just for me.. or- or anybody else. But for you."

"I'm gonna try to," Hyunjins voice broke, "I'm really gonna try to Lix."