Virtus

1

Deku pov:

The sunrise has always been so beautiful to look at, especially at times when the world is beginning to wake up. And for a split second nothing matters, but that second of relief could only be so short. Then you begin to remember who you are again.

I lean on my balcony watching the sun rise crossing my arms, seemingly wrapping my body to give it any warmth as I let out a foggy breath. It is late November and Musutafu is usually blanketed with a layer of snow by this time. There is none, instead, all the city's cars and windows are frosted but I do hope it snows soon. For a second I snap out of it to check the time pulling out my phone. It's 6:55 am, and school starts at 7:30. I head back inside, shutting the sliding door and walking straight to my closet. I rummage for the uniform I wear every day except it's not that iconic UA uniform. Instead, it's a white button-up paired with a brown sweater vest and some navy blue pants. This uniform belongs to the normal neighboring high school that isn't so far from UA.

I hated even showing up to that place. The people there reminded me of the horrors I went through in middle school. There were delinquents, bullies, and people like me who just simply wanted to get through without being seen. I haven't even told anyone about my quirk. I've been holding off that conversation for the longest. But I bet if I even mustered up the courage they'd switch up quickly. I've seen it before, the disgusted look on their faces, I've been treated like less of a human.

I've been pushed, kicked, punched, and burned so much that I think at some point my brain shut those parts out for the better. I feel disconnected, numb to the point that I can't connect with the people around me anymore like I used to. I feel like an outsider, and maybe being a ghost does that to you. I had spent a good chunk of my death observing the world around me from afar. And I feel like I'll spend my life doing so as well.

~

The distance to and from school isn't far, and when I finally make it there It's 7:25. I make it to the classroom and slump on my desk and bury my head. Disregarding the noisy unimportant chatter from the group in front of me. Today's lesson buzzed through my ears and I stopped processing past the words "test tomorrow".

At any moment I'm tempted to walk out the door. To ignore the teacher calling behind. To forget about the consequences. But I pull it together, pretending to know what I'm writing down in my notes. But most of the pages consist of scribbles and horribly done drawings. I had a little talent for drawing, where did it go?

~

I glanced at the clock and I almost gasped in surprise, class was almost over and it was nearing lunchtime. I had successfully managed another day of painfully sitting through class, it sounds stupid but I'm proud. I haven't been to school for a long time.

With no more than seconds to spare, I get up as the bell rings, ready to pack my notebooks. Everyone does too, they are probably as relieved as I am.

As I'm walking out I hear a thud in the far corner followed by thundering laughter. I almost ignore it but I hear whimpering. I stop walking and I don't know what I'm doing but I turn just slightly. From the corner of my eye, It's like looking back at an old memory. A young weak deku with his back to the wall facing the people he feared. The people that tormented him. He's shaking and although you've silenced him out of fear his eyes desperately scream to be saved.

I realize that I've stood there frozen in a now-empty classroom with the tormentors and their victim. I panic a little trying to get my feet to move.

"What are you staring at, moron?" They finally realize I'm here and shift their attention toward me. I turn towards them a little, knowing to keep my gaze low and to never make eye contact. It's a learned habit.

"S-sorry," I mutter like a fool and my voice probably cracked just now. I don't waste a second and I walk out hearing how they snicker and proceed to make fun of my awkwardness. But the further I walk through those hallways the more guilt I feel. I should've said something. I should have stopped it. I would have hoped that somebody would have intervened back then. Have I really changed? Am I just the same as before?

~

It's 3:30 pm and I finally arrived home taking my shoes off. I catch a whiff of something I recognize very well. My mother's cooking, I peek my head in the kitchen and she's there stirring a pot with her apron on. She didn't hear me come in, I dropped my backpack and she jumped a little, whipping her head in my direction. She lets out a relieved sigh and sets the spoon down, wiping her hands on the apron.

I walk towards her putting an arm around her shoulder and letting my head rest on her before she pulls back and looks at me. "How was school?" She picks up the spoon again, grabs a bowl, and pours some of the food in. The steam rises up and she carefully takes the bowl with her two hands setting it on the table.

"It was good, just boring." I chuckle a little and help her take out the silverware. The table is finally set up and we sit down. "Got any homework?" She says in the middle of blowing on the spoonful of food she held. "Yea." I say glancing at the sun peeking through the living room curtains.

Our conversations are short and sometimes mom would refuse to look me in the eye. I hurt her more than I realized by trying to forget and move on. I swore many times that I was okay now but it wasn't convincing enough. I even promised to take antidepressants for her sake.

I fiddle with the small pill in my hand for a moment before putting it in my mouth. I grab whatever liquid is available and I gulp loudly making sure she sees me take it. I stare at her for a moment, her avoiding gaze. I sip the last bit of food in the bowl before heading back to my room, taking my backpack with me.