Feeling Of Missing Out

Little Sister?

"What's the harm if he wants to dress like his big sis now and again?" Well that's not a promising first line to what is meant to be Dysphor 'not hurting me anymore.' "Don't you want our kids to get along like that?" That's Dad's voice.

"I just don't think it's wise, honey. Do you want him to get all that attention? It could do him a lot of harm. Promise me you'll at least speak to them about it before they really do it, OK?" Do what? The light still hasn't vanished!

The saturation of the colours returns to normal and I'm in the shower. I can smell flowers from somewhere, but the water is about to be turned off. I look down and...well it's still there. But Dysphor did say that I would always see it, even while others won't. But this feels different. My hair is shorter and I'm a few inches taller. My ginger locks have vanished to be replaced by a dull, black 'short back and sides.' I wrap a towel around myself, even after covering up with pants. But as I go to turn the doorknob and leave the bathroom, time grinds to another halt.

"Skye?"

"Yeah, Dysphor?"

"How do you feel right now?"

"Awful. But you knew that. Why have you made me male again? I thought we had a deal!"

"We do. Just trust me. You'll need this experience going forward. I'll reward you a dream soon enough for all this messing around and playing with your emotions."

"You better. OK, so what's the deal?"

"You heard your parents?"

"Yeah. I remember this day. Dad took us to the cinema. A couple of days before that, Katie jokingly suggested that we both go as girls, and I seriously agreed. Mum talked Dad into talking Katie into talking me out of it. I was crushed."

"Well, this time is different. Go on and see for yourself."

I open the bathroom door, and I see it just as I did back then. Katie sat with Dad on her bed, talking through how damaging it would be for a little boy to be seen as a girl in public. But I don't remember the conversation playing out this way before.

"Mum asked me to ask you not to dress Dylan up today."

"Why not? You know that he is the one who is most excited about it, right?"

"She thinks it will make people laugh at him. I'm on your side, honestly, honey. I don't see the harm in it, especially if he wants to."

"We'll be fine. Who are we going to see in there? The lights are down and everything so everyone's going to be too busy watching a movie to notice my little sister."

"That's a good point. OK. Can I trust you not to do anything that your brother is uncomfortable with then? I believe I can."

"Trust me Dad, he'll want to be even more feminine than I'm making him. He's wearing his own clothes and shoes. I'm just dolling him up and putting him in one of my coats."

"Why your coat? Again, not judging."

"He told me that if he wears that, it will feel like a dress on him. His words, not mine. Eh bro?" I imagine they've known that I was here the whole time.

"Yeah. I'll be two minutes, sis." I open the wardrobe and choose a pair of light blue jeans. From my t-shirts, I actively seek for the girliest one - a light pink tee with a logo of some palm trees that says 'Florida' like the badge of some sports team in the state. My nice shoes aren't really feminine enough - just plain black and white branded trainers. At this point, I'm just learning to tie laces, so these are not Velcro like before. I don't put those on yet - too soon.

I go through to see Katie, who's still sat with Dad. "Ah! There's the star of the show."

"You two have fun. We'll leave whenever you are ready." Dad closes the door behind him, leaving Katie the freedom to doll me up.