Than to Have Never Loved at All

Miss Him

Finn and I spent all of Saturday together getting sick on candy and watching re-runs of planet earth while I tried to scribble out sections for the one act script. Keegan and I had a google-doc opened, and we would come in, try somethign, erase huge chunks, leave depressing notes for each other than disappear for a few hours. I had a sneaking suspicion he and Clinton were playing video games at his house. The one acts were less than two weeks away. Keegan and I needed to get something submitted. Partially to make sure he got extra credit in his creative writing class, and partially so I would have something to send Nat so that she would maybe pick up her phone. This Stephan guys was her new obsession, and it sucked.

Less than two weeks from the One-Acts also meant less than two weeks for the Alt-Dance. There was excitement and nerves and a lot of work to do the second we all got back from Thanksgiving break.

"My conservative aunt is coming down for the holiday, despite her being barred from our house." Carsey complained before the meeting officially started on the Tuesday before break. "My Mom called yesterday to tell me it would be safest for me not to come over until she's gone. We're having Thanksgiving on Monday, after Aunt Marissa and my doddering racist grandmother crawl back to their backwater Hellholes."

"Ah. I'm sorry." Even when she was sad, Rosie's voice was tinted with an upward hope.

"S'fine," Carsey waved off.

"So, is your sister going to the family dinner?" Eric asked. The game on his phone today involved math. I didn't ask for details after I saw numbers on the screen.

"She's going, but I didn't want her to have to run interference for me. She always thinks it's her job to fight my case. If I'm not there, she actually gets to enjoy Thanksgiving for a change."

"I love Thanksgiving," I said. The look Carsey gave me was amused and not at all surprised. "I like pie," I said.

"I know," Carsey said. It looked like they wanted to mention something else, but they kept their mouth shut.

"So apartment to yourself?" Eric winked at Carsey.

Carsey moved in with their sister sophomore year so they could transfer schools. It was the only way their family could figure out how to get them to Alan Hill's High every day.

"Yup." Carsey said. They gave Eric a withering look that said I'm not throwing you a rager. "I'm going to enjoy my own Thanksgiving. I found an awesome recipe for black bean burgers, and I'm making vegan pumpkin pie, with coconut whipped cream. Then I'm going to play The Sims for eight hours without pants on and fully enjoy being alone."

"Suit yourself," Eric shrugged. "I'm gonna smoke with my cousins and see if we can make firecrackers in the barn."

"Well we'll know what happened if you don't come back from break." Carsey said.

Rosie laughed a like a bell then realized something.

"Do you think there's a way to make Vegan Cupcakes?" Rosie asked.

"There are a million ways to make vegan cupcakes," Carsey said. Rosie perked up considerably. "Best part is that you can eat the batter without getting salmonella."

"Oh goody!" Rosie clapped. "I'm thinking of bringing rainbow cupcakes to the dance, but I thought we should also have a vegan option." Rosie leaned forward and rested her chin on her fist staring off into space, surely imagining colorful icing and confetti cake mix. I knew I was, except mine had eggs and milk.

"Cupcakes are a staple, of course we're having them." Eric said. I looked over at him. He had talked more in the last ten minutes than I had heard him talk at the last 5 meetings combined. Maybe it was because Devin still wasn't there, and he needed to fill the void.