Never Meant To Be | Ruikasa

Part 8 (last part)

Tw: implied suicide

"What?" Rui asked, looking at Tsukasa.

"I don't think we've met before..."

"You're joking right? Tsukasa it's me, Rui."

"Rui... Huh, I've never heard that name before. I don't think Saki's ever mentioned you. Neither Emu or Nene. Are you a friend of my mom?"

His heart sank. All the way down to the bottom of the ocean. The deep deep part of the ocean.

"N-no I'm a friend of Nene. I uh, I- I should probably go. I'll tell the doctors you're awake, and they'll call your mom." Rui stuttered before walking out the room. He informed the doctors about Tsukasa as he left the hospital.

I'm not dumb. I've already realized that I was that 'girl' Tsukasa loved so much. I have caused him all this pain. Why couldn't I have realized this sooner? Why did it have to end up like this?

Locking himself in his bedroom, he lied in his bed. He was upset at himself, angry and felt. He felt like he hated himself.

Maybe he does hate himself. Maybe in a dark corner of his heart, somewhere, an overwhelming feeling of hatred, caged and locked away, begging to be free, is sitting there, impatiently waiting to be let out.

No, I shouldn't think like this again.

Rui covered his face with his hands.

I should just be happy, but what is happiness?

His arms slid down to his sides.

Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy.

"RUI!" Nene yelled, barging into his room.

Rui sat up quickly in surprise. "Yes?"

"Oh thank God you didn't do anything stupid," she sighed, placing a hand on her head.

"What would I have done that's stupid?"

"I don't know, hurt yourself? sigh Sorry, I just heard what had happened with Tsukasa and I know you so I came to check on you."

Rui paused for a second. "Don't worry! I'm- fine! I- I've never really like liked Tsukasa anyways," he lied.

"Don't lie to yourself! Anyways be safe, please. Just- move on. . . There's other people out there for you."

It was too dark for Nene to notice that Rui was crying. He didn't want anyone else. He wanted Tsukasa, but he ruined it for himself.

"I-I'll try," he forced himself to say.

"Good. Well, I have to go. I'm even more late for school now."

Is it really that late? I haven't checked.

Rui checked his phone as Nene left. It was late.

He decided to stay home. He would calm himself and try to work things out inside him. Just for that day though.

Well, it was, in fact, more than a day. Four days actually.

The four days consisted of, crying, self sorting, self hate, and lying.

Nene visited him every morning to make sure he was okay.

Which he wasn't, but she didn't need to know.

However, today, Rui decided to take a walk.

This walk wasn't just any type of walk. He would fo to the hospital and see Tsukasa.

Nene and Emu had invited him to go see Tsukasa altogether, so he didn't want to decline.

. . .

"Hi Tsukasa!" Emu yelled running up to Tsukasa.

Rui stood behind both Nene and Emu, hoping not to be noticed.

He didn't pay attention to the others talking, he just stared at Tsukasa. It didn't matter though, no one payed attention to Rui.

Everything looked perfect.

Tsukasa looked perfect.

Tsukasa looked like he was having a perfect time.

A perfect time without Rui.

Maybe it's better off this way.

Maybe. . .

"I'm gonna get some fresh air, I'll be back," Rui waved.

Walking up the stairs to the roof was tiring, but worth it once he reached the top. The nice breeze ran past him, like it was in a hurry.

Staring over the short fence, Rui could see the city. Cars, people, animals. A normal day.

Everyday will be just like this one.

Even Tsukasa will be happy.

Living his normal life,

without me.

But that doesn't matter.

Now sitting on the short fence, Rui smiles as he stares down the building.

Tsukasa is happy.

He doesn't need me anymore,

and I can't have him.

The wind once again rushed passed him, which almost made him slip from the railing.

Now, sitting on the edge of the hospital and leaning against the fence, he looked up at the clear, blue sky.

It's been nice hanging out with him.

He's made me happy,

and I have made him happy for the time

I've been in his life.

If I can't have him,

that means,

he's better off without me.

.

.

It was such a nice say. Sun shining, breeze flowing, life buzzing.

And Rui was ready to make Tsukasa's day even better.

If he had forgotten him now,

he shall forget him forever.

"Goodbye, Tsukasa."

Thanks for reading to the end! I've really enjoyed writing this and it took me a while to really decide the ending because I wasn't completely sure how I wanted it to end. Just so you know Rui was gonna die anyways, no good ending there. But I really appreciate the support on the fanfic! I will write more stories once I get better considering I'm sick and school is just really tiring. Anyways my phone is at 4%, it's 4:55am and I need to sleep for school today 💀 so goodnight!!