Wrapped around your finger - Post Malone

59

Salt Lake City is better than New York, but it's still not home. Hazel found a nice house with a big backyard, but she hates it. She hates the kitchen and the bathroom and how close it is to the other houses. Hopefully, Evelyn will like it if Austin ever lets her visit. She will rent a house in a small town closer to Cottonwood if Evelyn hates this house. She will let Evelyn decide. It's not Cottonwood, but she will make her feel like it's her home too - at least she will try. She hates the bed she bought too, it's hard and chunky and hurts her back. She tried the couch too but it's worse. That's why she has found herself out in the backyard, spread out like a starfish as she looks up at the night sky. At least she can see the stars out here, unlike New York. She has been searching for her mother up there, but she can't find her - she is hiding. She looks up at Austin's mother, she is big and bright tonight - almost outshining the moon. "I know you have seen what I have done...and I am sorry for hurting him...but I hope you can see how broken my heart is...I will love him for a lifetime and in the next and the one after that too...I will love him in all my lifetimes...even in the ones he doesn't want me," she whispers as her eyes slowly fall shut.

Austin pushes the bedroom door open slowly and smiles at his mother. She smiles back at him and then holds her finger to her mouth, shushing him. He looks around the room and sees his father sleeping in a rocking chair holding Evelyn as she lays asleep over his chest, her little fingers curled in his long beard. He takes off his Stetson and places it on the end of his mother's bed then kneels next to her, taking her frail hand. "You been working hard, boy," she whispers. "It's how I was raised, my mother never accepted laziness," he whispers back, kissing her hand. She smiles at him again then looks at his father and Evelyn. "There are only a few things I will take with me when I go, the picture of them sleepin' like that will be one," she says softly. "Don't talk like that. You will get better soon and outta this bed, back into that field, hollerin' at me," Austin says. She looks back at him, her smile still soft.

"Na, that old oak calls...my time is near."

"Stop that. You can't go, you are still needed here. We need you here."

"That old man has his whisky, Evelyn has you and you will have her...she is comin', I can feel it in my old bones."

"There ain't no woman comin', mama. Besides, you have some big boots to full...ain't no woman I know that will measure up."

"You haven't met her yet, and she will bring her own boots. She will change ya, she will change this place."

"I don't want to change and I like this place just the way it is."

"You won't have any choice in the matter. She will catch ya and you will be lovin' her before you even know what's happenin'."

"Stay. Wait till she comes then, you could show her how to work a ranch."

"You will show her."

Austin bows his head and places it in his mother's lap as she runs her fingers through his hair. She looks up, straight at Hazel. "Look behind you," she says softly. Hazel turns and finds herself in an open field. The wind is whipping at her, tossing her hair about. She frowns and looks around. She is on Cottonwood. Then she sees Austin, he is on his knees, his head bowed, and Lightning's reins in his hands. She looks up on a hill and sees Lightning on top of it. He turns to face her and then gallops toward her, he shows no signs of slowing down the closer he gets. She tries to move but the long grass has wrapped itself around her ankles and is holding her in place. As Lightning races toward her at full speed she can do nothing but shut her eyes tight and scream as she feels the ground shake beneath her feet from the stamping of Lightning's hooves.

Hazel sits up with a start, her scream disturbing the neighborhood dogs. Something is wrong. Something is very very wrong. She rushes inside and grabs her car keys. She is in Austin's threadbare shirt, but she does not have time to worry about that now. Something is wrong and she needs to get to Austin. She speeds out of Salt Lake City and up toward Cottonwood. It's still very early in the morning, the sky only just starting to turn from black into a deep velvet blue. She drives as fast as she can, over the speed limit with her foot flat. It's reckless and stupid - but something is wrong and Austin needs her. By the time she turns her car onto Coottenwood road the sky has started to form a pink hue and her breath catches at how beautiful her home is. Austin should only be getting up now and Hazel knows he said he would bury her, but she hopes he was just being dramatic - she needs to be here. She needs to make sure he is ok, she knows he is not and her chest feels like acid has been thrown on it.

Please be just a dream, please be ok.

She parks her car in the yard and hops out, running over to the kitchen stairs then up them and grabs the kitchen door, but it's locked. Austin never locks it unless he is not there. What's going on? Where is he? She turns and looks off the porch steps, but sees nothing. Then she goes to the end of the porch and looks out to the mountain. She sees him. He is walking, trudging slowly with his head bent and his body heavy. He looks...he looks so broken as he thoughtlessly places one foot in front of the other. Then Hazel's eyes flick to what is in his hands. Oh, no...no, no, no, please, no. She watches as he trudges forward, not looking up - letting his memory of home guide his path. His face is hidden by the rim of his Stetson but she does not need to see his face to know he is broken, it vibrates off his shoulders that slump, each step looks painful, each step looks like it takes all his effort.

When he reaches the mowed lawns of the ranch house he lifts his head and stops when he sees her standing there, rooted to the edge of the porch. Her heart drops, he is a giant of a man but right now he looks so small and so very lost. He keeps his eyes on her, a million words said without even moving his lips. She can't save him from this, she wants to - she would take all his pain...but she can't save him from this. He drops Lightning's saddle on the ground before his feet and then, eyes never leaving her, he steps over it and walks up to her. He looks up at her quietly when he reaches her and she can see his eyes are red, dust caught in the tear tracks under them. She wants to touch him, wrap him up and keep him safe but she is unsure, scared of the pain that will come when he pushes her away. Then slowly he lifts his hands and places them on her hips, sliding them around her slowly as he buries himself in her stomach. Carefully she lifts her hands, taking his Stetson off she runs her fingers through his curls and then hugs him close. "Hush now, baby," she whispers knowing her words will do no good as she kisses the top of his head.