The Lost Soul

Letter 5

Dear Kitty,

I'm so glad you like hearing from me. I have no one else to turn to.  I could always tell you how each day here is but it that would be to boring for you. I am mainly just sitting around except when I'm aloud to go for walks through the garden, Scott is the person who takes me. He doesn't talk much. He is a good listener like you. I miss the old days too. I wish I could come visit you but that isn't gonna happen for a while. They aren't lowering my meds this week cause I had a small freak out the other day.

Only 46 days left til December 1st and MASON IS HERE!! I'm super excited! Mason sent me this pic of Cayden. He even sent an extra one so I can send one to you. Mason is just the best. I still find it so funny how opposite him and Max are. Like Mason is quite shy and kind until you get comfortable with him then he is just weird. While Max is always loud and center of attention until you get to know him then he is quite caring. Oh and Max has found this really cute girl that is helping out at the Radio station that he still playing for. He has gotten a deal with a record place but says he still wishes to continue at the local station as well. I think it's just cause of the girl.

I have started doing longer sessions with Dr. Lemmons, she says that as my meds get decreased I'm going to need to talk about my emotions more. She says that I should be down to half my original dose when mason comes so I have to be careful because it may cause memory flashes and I may not be able to handle it just yet and if so I will have my meds bumped back up a bit so I can get settled with having people from my 'past' (as she always calls it).

On the 20th of October I am going to be allowed to play a board game with Scott to see if it brings back any childhood memories because at the moment. I don't remember a whole lot except for people and some events like Mum's disappearance. I was given a book to read today and Scott said that it was Mason who sent it here because it use to be my favorite. Mason said in his letter that I use to be like a zombie reading it because my nose would be so far into it there was no communicating with me. That made me laugh because I can't even remember anything of what happens in it so I guess its good cause I get to experience reading it for the first time twice.

One memory that is always playing in my head is one night I was standing on a bridge, I was on the edge when a boy ran towards me with tears running down his face. He kept screaming that he was sorry. I can't shake the feeling that he is lying though. He wraps his arms around my wait and pulls me back away from the edge. We fall so I am in-between his legs and his head is in my neck. I can hear his sobbing. I look down to see my arms covered in blood, its dripping down onto his. I try stand up and move away but he won't let me. I try and say that he is going to get blood on him but he doesn't care. He says that he just wants me safe. He stands up and picks me up with him and takes me over to a red pickup truck and places me on the seat. He buckles my seat belt before going around to get into the driver's side. The memory slowly fades after that. I think I fall asleep.

I have had that dream for the last week. It slightly worries me because I'm not sure if it's real or not. Dr. Lemmons won't tell me either but she said that she would always listen.  So do you know who the boy might be? He has dark brown hair, a defined jaw, with hazel/ bluie greenish eyes and he was rather tall too. I recognize his face but I can't put a name to it.

I guess that's all I have to tell you this time around but could you tell me how your week has been in each letter. I like hearing about everything you do.

Forever loved by

The Lost soul