What Will Always Be

2

This whole week had been a battle. Every time Gerard had seen Frank, he was never alone. Until that Friday, Frank was in the copier room and Gerard had come in to also make copies of a worksheet for his next class. Frank didn't look at him but he knew he was there. Gerard kept peeking at him from over his shoulder. He noticed something different about Frank, though. He wasn't tense like he usually would be around people he had bad history with. To him, that meant Frank was still comfortable around him and would eventually have spoken to him if he wasn't on a schedule. Frank's next class came right after lunch, which was where the students all were now. He only had ten more minutes. Gerard had thought to himself about a way to make Frank speak to him.

"How are you liking the school?" Gerard tried, but didn't turn around to look at the younger.

He heard Frank turn though, and lean against the copier. "It's alright." Frank spoke low. Gerard could tell he didn't want to talk to him though.

"You know," Gerard turned around to look at him. "We have to speak eventually since now we work in the same hall." Frank's arms were crossed. He just kept his glare and just sighed in response.

Gerard looked away from him and began to smile to himself.

"What?" Frank said in annoyance.

"You haven't changed at all." He looked back at the smaller one, still holding his smile.

Frank had nothing to say to Gerard. He looked at the clock above the door. Gerard looked too. It was almost time for the students to get out of lunch. Frank had picked up his copies and walked out of the room.

Gerard looked down at his feet, shaking his head still with that same smile and chuckling to himself. He loved when Frank was annoyed. He liked how Frank would pull his lips in and tighten them together. How his glare was always cancelled out by the color in his eyes. Gerard loved those eyes. He knew this wasn't going to be easy but he also knew Frank couldn't resist him. Frank wasn't the type of person who gave up on people no matter what the circumstance was.

***

Later on, after the school day had ended, Gerard was walking to his car. He had lit a cigarette and leaned against the hood of his car, smoking it. He then looked over to the other side of the parking lot when he heard voices. He saw Frank and another teacher talking. He kept an eye on them. This other teacher and Gerard didn't get a long very much. His name was Mark Williamson.

"Ain't that how it always goes." Gerard said to himself, shaking his head and looking away but he looked back quickly. He loved Frank so he would make sure if Frank wanted to move on, it wasn't going to be with a douchebag.

Correction... this douchebag.

Frank then had looked down the parking lot, seeing Gerard staring at him.

"Hey, I'll catch up with you later." He told Mark.

"Yeah, hey - just let me know if you want to go out anytime." Mark said, smiling at Frank.

Frank gave him a half smile then walked down to the other end of the parking lot. Gerard looked over at him when he got closer, cigarette still in hand. Frank leaned next to him on the hood of his car. Gerard handed him his cigarette, offering to share it like they used to do. Frank graciously took it from him.

"Mark, huh?" Gerard said, not really caring if it made Frank upset.

"I'm allowed to see whoever I want." Frank said then took a drag, "But I'm not interested." He handed the cigarette back.

Gerard didn't say anything. He knew Frank was right. He could move on, but Gerard knew Frank and Frank was a very attractive man and had everyone lined up. So if he wanted to move on, he would've.

"He seems interested." Gerard finally said.

Frank looked back down the other side of the parking lot, Mark was still there, staring at them.

"You know he's not going to take 'no' for an answer." Gerard handed the cigarette back. Frank took it, taking another drag. He just looked down at his shoes. They stayed quiet for a few minutes. "I am happy to see you, though."

Frank looked up at the older who was already looking at him. He felt his heart flutter from those words. But Gerard had hurt him when they broke up. He cried for weeks. He lost the love of his life and his best friend at the same time. He felt it was hard to trust Gerard right now.

Gerard understood when Frank didn't say anything back to him. He knew it would take him a while to come around.

"Where are you parked?" Gerard asked him.

"On the other side of the lot." Frank pointed to where Mark was still standing.

"Jesus, Frank," Gerard took his last drag of the cigarette then threw it to the ground, putting it out. "You leading him on or something?" He joked. "Come on," Gerard had walked Frank over to his car. "Drive safe." He gave Frank a small smile, then watched him drive off.

"What's up, Way?" Mark had shouted at him.

Gerard turned his head to look at him now that Frank was off school grounds.

"You trying to get with him?" Mark asked, walking over to him.

Gerard chuckled to himself, almost like a mock at the other man.

"What's funny?" Mark was getting irritated.

"Nothing, man." He waved him off, walking back to his car, still cracking up.

"I will get him first!" Mark yelled across the parking lot.

Gerard threw up his hand lazily and rolled his eyes. He got into his car, pulling out of the parking lot and driving home.

The whole ride home Gerard had thought about what it'd be like if him and Frank didn't break up. Would they still be arguing? Would they still be unhappy? Would Gerard have stopped drinking? Or would they have actually worked it all out and gotten married? It didn't matter either way he thought about it though because in reality, they broke up. They'd have to start over. Frank would make Gerard start over. Gerard knew that. Frank said after Gerard told him he was done, "You don't tell someone you love them and then leave them." Those words stuck with him all the time. That's what Gerard did and there was nothing he could do to change that.

***

That night, he laid in bed. It was a Friday which means he would have breakfast with his brother, Mikey, tomorrow morning. It was their thing since Gerard moved out of his mother's house that Mikey and him did breakfast every Saturday to talk about their week. They thought about a phone call every now and then but it just meant more to Mikey to see his brother face to face if he had any news to share.

"Mikey's not ready for this weeks news." Gerard thought to himself.