Nightmares (Loki)

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Thoughts are in Italics

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Everywhere you looked, there was blood. You yourself were the monster, the killing machine causing all this destruction...

You could see people dying, suffering, crying, all because of you.

You felt a pang of guilt, pity and fear.

You had no control whatsoever on your body.

What have I done?

You ought to be killed.

Panting, (Your full name) woke up from her nightmare-infested sleep, to put it bluntly. It had been more than 6 months since the team of superheroes whom had somewhat become her dysfunctional family had rescued her from the clutches of HYDRA. She was still not over the many deaths SHE had caused.

She was a monster.

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Everyone had tried to ease your guilt...

"The deaths weren't your fault..."

"You had no control over your body..."

"You were brainwashed..."

"You were being manipulated..."

These words did nothing to ease your pain, or your guilt. You had spent 12 years in HYDRA, being experimented on, unwillingly, yet your feelings or views had, obviously, never mattered. You were forced to kill. But, your consciousness somewhat felt guilt. Not like you had any chance. You wanted to escape, you really did, but upon trying multiples of times, all you got in return was pain and punishment.

They had always caught you.

Shuddering at the grotesque memory, you forced your half-asleep body up. You decided to give up on trying to get some sleep and made your way to the tower's lounge, planning to spend the time watching a movie. Your bed sheets felt as if they were choking you, and you couldn't bear to go back to sleep, because of the unpleasant memories constantly occurring whenever you tried snoozing. Upon reaching the tower though, you felt your heart beat faster due the fact that a familiar god sat on the couch, his emerald eyes skimming over a book held in his hands. He was dressed in a loose green shirt and black sweatpants. Even in "Midgardian apparel", as he'd call it, he looked mesmerizing.

"Stop fangirling", you told yourself. You were sure Loki would NEVER reciprocate your feeling for him. Besides, he always gave everyone the cold shoulder, you thought. And he must have way better options, both on Midgard and Asgard.

Still, you gathered your courage, and plopped on a couch. He glanced at you, his face showing no particular emotion, though his eyes were visibly tired. You smiled at him, though not expecting one back (You did get one back, even though it was a mere tilt of the lips, it was rare, but you failed to notice it), turned on Netflix on the T.V and started surfing it. You played a movie, although barely halfway through it, you fell asleep, hours worth of skipped sleep finally catching up to you.

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Loki had seen Y/n entering the room and then sitting on a nearby couch, but he had avoided eye contact. The memories from the dream- no, that word was inappropriate, nightmare would be better suited- he recently had kept playing in his head. The nightmare had resulted in jolting him awake from his sleep, and it was pointless in trying again to sleep, since these memories always tormented him.

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