Love on Ripper street

Chapter 14.

Authors note -
Hey the song I chose is caraphernelia by pierce the veil and even of you don't like the song please look at the lyrics and please listen to it because it describes exactly what Jaxon feels and it's like the songwriter has been in Jax's mind it's amazing! So if you want to understand Jaxon a bit more then listen to the song!
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Jax's P.O.V -
"Prison happened Alice."
I looked in her beautiful eyes and felt pain in my heart. True pain I'd never felt that before. Not even when my family died the only thing I felt then was anger. But it was different now, Alice had always made me feel a way that I'd never experience before.
"I'm sorry Jax. I never meant for any of this to happen." I looked down when I suddenly felt Alice small hand on top of mine. I had surely missed her touch.
"I know." It was all I could say and then I felt her hand rip away from me, leaving my skin cold and missing her warmth.
"If you knew that I didn't say anything then why did you let me believe it?! Do you know how shitty I've felt?! I couldn't sleep because I was so sad that you didn't let me explain the truth."
I felt a pang of guilt hitting my chest like a train. A big ass train.
"I'm sorry Alice.. I truly am. But I need you to know that I never stopped loving you and I always hoped that you still loved me but when you stopped coming here I gave up hope."
"So you loved me but you just choose to hurt me? To ignore me? That's really how you show a girl that you love her Jax, great job." God did I miss her sarcasm. I missed everything about her. The way she called me Jax instead of Jaxon and they way she always rolled her eyes when she said something sarcastic or pointed something obvious out. I truly loved her.
"What can I say, I'm a born Casanova." I said with a hit of sarcasm that I knew Alice would get.
"Very funny Jax." She replied with her iconic roll of those beautiful eyes.
I subconsciously smiled at her before she looked serious and nervous again, just like she did the minute she arrived here. She needed to tell me something important.
"What is it Alice?" I asked with concern filling my voice while gripping her tiny little hand.
"I'm, I'm sorry I, I don't know how to tell you this." She was stuttering and her hand started sweating, something that always happened when she was nervous. It happened when she first saw me in her apartment all those years ago.
"You can tell me anything Alice, just remember that I love you."
"That's exactly why this is so hard Jaxon." She never called me Jaxon if it wasn't serious. What the hell happened to her?
"Tell me Alice, what is it?"
"I'm, I'm pregnant." Silence, I couldn't think, I couldn't speak the only thing I felt was anger. Not towards her, I could never be angry with her, but towards Nate. If I ever get my hands on him he's a dead man.
"I'm going to kill him." I whispered, mostly to myself and wasn't prepared that Alice heard me.
"No Jaxon please, don't be mad." She pleaded while grabbing my hand carefully, like I would swat it away. I would never do that.
"I don't understand. You slept with him? Why? Because you missed me, or because you felt lonely, or was it because I ignored you?" I rambled.
"No Nate and I have been together for the last two years Jaxon. And it wasn't because of you, it was because I love him."
"No you, you and Nate, it dosen't make sense. Why would you do that Alice? You don't love him, you said that you loved me. I, I thought you and I was the only thing you wanted."
"I'm sorry Jaxon, I truly am, but I thought you deserved to know."
"That's why you stopped visiting me, because you were to busy sleeping with the guy that locked me up. He ruined us Alice!" I was devastated. I couldn't believe it! Nate and Alice? What the actual fuck?
"Look, I didn't expect you to understand Jaxon, but I thought you deserved to know, because after all you were my first love."
"I was your first everything, and I thought you wanted me to be your last."
"You are probably never getting out of here and you expect me to sit and wait for something that is never going to happen?"
At that I swallowed, now I remember, that was the reason I wanted to talk to her, she needs to know.
"About that, I too need to tell you something Alice."
"What is it? Did you murder a prison guard?" She said while doing that adorable rolling of her eyes.
"Haha no actually I didn't, but umm, I'm sentenced to death."
I looked up from my hands, that suddenly became very interesting and met her eyes when I saw small glittering tears rolling down her cheeks coloring them red.
"Please don't cry Alice" I said while gripping both her hands, "I did horrible things, and this is after all what I deserve."
"No it's not, you don't deserve this Jaxon, you don't."
"Unfortunately I do. And I'm hoping that there is not any life after death, because I would certainly go to hell, and I would miss you terribly."
"Don't talk like that please. I'm going to stop this."
"Please Alice don't, they are not going to change their mind, I was the most wanted criminal of this time."
I was about to say more when that stupid fucking prison guard interrupted me. I'm defiantly killing him before I die.
"Visiting time is over miss."
Alice looked at the guard, dried her tears and said simply "okay".
But she didn't leave before she turned to me and said "I'm going to miss you Jaxon, everything we've been through and this is how this fucked up story is supposed to end?" She said with a sad smile and turned around but not before I stopped her. "Alice, I love you with everything in me. Everything about you is perfection to me and I'm going to be forever grateful for what you've showed me. You showed me another side of life, a side of life that I never thought I'd be able to see because of the things I've done. You were the first thing in my life that made me regret. Regret the things I've done and the things I didn't have time for."
"Jaxon, what didn't you have time for?"
"Asking you this." I said while getting on one knee and continuing "I know you are together with Nate and your having his baby, not mine, but I need to say this to the women I love before I die. Alice Lightwood, would you give me the honor to, if I weren't to die, call you my wife and to hold and to cherish you through thick and thin for the rest of my life, until death do us apart, I know that's not a long time but you get the point?"
"Jaxon.."
"I know you love Nate, I just need to show you how much I love you Alice."
"If this was two years ago, before Nate locked you up, we would've already been married by now, and you know that right?"
I looked down and smiled.
"Yes I know."
Alice returned my smile, with her beautiful heart shattering smile.
"Good, then you already have your answer right?"
"Everything I need to know is that you'd been mine if the circumstances were different."
"And I would've been."
"Good."
And that was the last time I saw Alice Lightwood..

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Authors note -
Hey guys, is it weird that I'm a little sad right now?
Jaxon nooooooooo.
I'm not 100% sure if I'm going to do an epilog or if this is truly the end on Love on Ripper street.
Tell me what you guys think!

- Johanna ❤️