Error Number: 505

09 - well.

Eden's POV:

"Please don't make me go to school, mommy," I whisper, tears spilling down my cheeks.

"I won't. I won't buttercup. Kila's gonna be here, though. Okay?" I nod. She rubs my back.

"I have a little bit before I go into work. Cuddles?" I nod. She gets behind me in my bed and pulls me close.

"I shouldn't have done it," I whisper. She puts her hands on top of mine.

"You made a mistake. And now all you have to do is learn from it. You can't fix the past."

"I wish I could," I whisper.

"We all do, buttercup." I face her. She strokes my hair back.

"When did you know you were in love with Kila?"

"I was 15. And it was homecoming. And she came downstairs with this.. short red dress. And I.. I just- felt things that I have never felt before. Ever."

"And.. I remember that night I was having a panic attack at the dance. And I was hyperventilating and a mess."

"And she came and found me and comforted me. And.. we were in the corner of a hallway. Hidden by the lockers. Right by one of the doors, so the moon was the only thing that allowed us to see, but I still remember the look on her face."

"It was.. empathy and love and.. concern mixed into one. And we held eye contact. And she kissed me."

"And I kissed back. Even though.. I had a boyfriend at the time. I kept kissing back and we started to make out. In the corner of a hallway."

"And it was the best make out session I have ever had." I laugh. "But when she pulled away I knew I was screwed. I knew I was in love with her. I knew I was down in the fiery pits of hell down bad."

"But she whispered "I'm sorry." And ran off. And we never talked about it again."

"Until my wedding day, when we in the bathroom and she was giving me the finishing touches. And I grabbed her. And she looked at me. And she knew. She knew exactly what I was gonna say."

"And we held eye contact again like we did on that night. And I kissed her. And she kissed back and then we were making out again."

"And I pulled away and her lip quivered, and I hugged her, and I said "if this doesn't work out, it's you, Kila. I promise." And.. she nodded."

"And I wiped her tears. And she kissed me again. And she pinned me to the wall. And she kissed my neck and my collarbone and my lips again and I.."

"I wanted to call off everything. But she told me no. She said this needs to happen. I already had CeCe and she wouldn't allow me to call it off. But I wanted to. It wasn't fair I felt guilty I couldn't marry him! I was in love with someone else!"

"And I walked down the aisle. And I stepped up there and I met your father's eyes. And he knew. I don't know how, but he knew, and he wasn't mad."

"The night when we were in the hotel he sat next to me and asked me if I wanted an out. But then I thought about CeCe. And I said no. I don't want an out. I don't love her we're gonna make this work."

"And he said okay. And I.. thought I got over her. I had you. He and I were in love. It was great. I never.. kissed her or was romantic towards her in any kind of way."

"Until.. I found out he was cheating. But.. she held me. Just like she did the night of homecoming. And then she kissed me.. and then I hit a home run but we don't talk about that!" I laugh.

"I guess my whole point was it'll be okay, buttercup. Life will work itself out the way it's supposed to be."

Eleanor's POV:

I miss her.

Her face will forever be engraved in my mind. The pain that filled it. Why did I say that? What possessed me to say it?

"What the fuck did your little girlfriend do?" Jessica asks, pulling me into the bathroom.

"What?" I ask.

"Why are you such a bitch today? She's not here so what happened." I laugh.

"Jessica.. you.. I don't wanna deal with you today. Okay I can't." She grabs my arm. I look at her.

"Are you okay?" She asks. I turn towards her. Her look softens.

"The hell?" I say.

"The video's gone. I don't know where it went."

"Okay. I don't care about the video. So what people know I'm gay I don't care." I turn to walk out.

"Ellie-" I roll my eyes and face her.

"What?" I say.

"How did you know you were gay?" I laugh.

"No way." She slides her lip into her mouth.
"Are you serious?" She nods.

"I don't know. I just.. never felt the same type of way around boys as I did girls. I never blushed when a guy talked to me. Always girls."

"They made me nervous." She nods.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.
"I think.. I think I'm gay."

"Okay," I say, softly.

"But I.. said things to Eden that I want to take back. Because they're self projecting. Do you know where she is?" I shake my head.

"She's probably at home. I'd try going during your lunch period I don't know." She nods.

"Ellie?"

"Yes?"

"Does your pastor know?" I look at her.

"No," I say. I shake my head. "No."

"I'm scared," she whispers.

"To come out?" I ask. She nods.

"You don't have to. Not until way later." A girl walks in.

"Hi, Jessie," she says, looking up at her. Jessica smiles and blushes.

"Hi Mel," she says.

"Are we still on for after school? At the library?" She nods.

"Yeah!"

"Great. Perfect." She goes into one of the stalls. I walk out. She follows.

"It's her isn't it?"

"Yes," she whispers.
"What if I leave a note in her locker? Do you think she'll read it?"

"I think anyone would." I look at her.

"Good luck." I go back to class and sit down. And then I zone out thinking about her.

What did I do?

A/N - so.. Jessie's gay, Ellie feels guilty, Eden is a mess, and her mom has been in love with her best friend since high school.

Hm.

I love you!💕💕