Freshman Year

11

JJ blinked her eyes open, not knowing where she was, when she felt something move next to her. She turned her head, wiping the hair from her face. It was the football player that liked her.

Without waking him up, she slowly got out of bed, grabbing the pieces of clothing she could fine. Her jeans and underwear were piled together, same with her shirt and bra, that made this easier. She got dressed and grabbed her boots, she could put them on in the elevator, and slipped out the dorm.

The sun outside was blinding, JJ brushed her hair behind her ears. Walking with her head up, she did the walk of shame to her building. She went up the elevator, brushing her hair with her fingers, before unlocking her door.

Penelope was in the shower, so JJ stood at the vanity getting ready, before slipping into her room. She wasn't embarrassed about the hookup or how drunk she was, but she didn't want Penelope to know.

If Pen knew, everyone would know.

The sound of the water stopped and JJ closed her door again. She looked in the mirror and ran her hands down the sides of her jeans.

Growing up as the other Jareau, JJ never had never been able to get out of the spotlight, she had to be perfect. She rolled down her jeans, just enough to see the red marks from ripping the tape off earlier.

When Will asked about it, she just said it was the jeans. She rewrapped her legs and grabbed her bag, she had to go to work. She closed the front door and turned to see Penelope and Emily in the hall. JJ tightened her grip on her bag when she saw the look on Emily's face.

Penelope grabbed the brunette's hand and walked her past JJ, not letting either stop to say anything. JJ took a step, holding her hand to her stomach as she kept walking.

~~~

"That was a really fun thing to do. I am so glad I came over." Emily said as she looked in the mirror, did she look ok? "I am so so sorry. I didn't know she was there. I swear she wasn't when I was in the shower." Pen said, clearing a spot on her chair.

"She didn't come home last night?" Penelope shook her head. "When I fell asleep she wasn't. She must've come in when I was showering." Emily grabbed her laptop and sat down. "I just want to know what happened. Like I gave her my ring and now she fucking hates me. I don't know what I did." Emily said, brushing her hair behind her ears." Emily thought back to the night before.

"Princess, there's a football party. You gonna join us?" Derek asked, throwing a balled-up napkin at her. Emily didn't notice, she was thinking about JJ.

She knew JJ wasn't going to the dining hall, her friend Tara was a kitchen assistant never saw JJ eat. Every day, Emily would walk by the gym, seeing the blonde on the treadmill or running the track. "Em." Spencer said, touching her arm.

She looked at him and smiled. "Yeah?" No one had noticed that she was zoning out. "We are going to the football party tonight." Hotch said. Emily nodded and said ok.

"I'm scared Pen." Penelope looked at her confused. "Why?" Emily opened her mouth but nothing came out. She didn't know what JJ had told Penelope, and what she knew.

"My ring." Emily said, thinking back to JJ last night. "She wasn't wearing my ring. This is the first time I noticed it missing. I could have sworn I saw it a couple days ago."

Penelope thought for a moment. "We can get it back. I'm sure it was hell to see her wear it." Emily smiled and shook her head. "It was like I was protecting her. Like she would be ok."

Emily got up and slowly opened JJ's door. "I'm gonna find it." She said. She walked into JJ's room, scanning for the silver ring. After she couldn't find it, she looked in the drawers and trash, digging around it with a pencil.

The balled-up pieces of tape filled the bottom of the trash, she knew what this was. Emily held her mouth, the thought of JJ doing it made her want to cry. "Find it?" Penelope asked from the other room. Emily pushed the tape back down, joining Pen in her room, and shook her head.

"I don't think I'm going to study after dinner. I want to talk to JJ." Emily smiled when the group cleaned up dinner, on Sundays JJ worked until 6 so she would be home soon. Emily went back to Penelope's room and grabbed the ball of tape in JJ's trash when she heard the door open.

JJ walked into her bedroom and jumped when she saw Emily. "What the fuck are you doing?" She asked, throwing her bag on her chair. "Show me." Emily said, slamming the ball of tape on the desk. JJ saw it and felt lightheaded.

Emily knew she was right by the look on JJ's face, it made Emily want to cry. She saw the way her eye twitch when she looked at the desk, the way she bit her lip when looking at Emily. "Show me." She said again, keeping herself from crying.

JJ shook her head. "No. Get the fuck out." She whispered. Emily stepped forward and yelled it again. "Emily get out." Emily stepped away from JJ and kept distance between them. "JJ I swear to god." She yelled.

JJ felt the tears pour down her face as she pulled her jeans down. "Happy? Do you feel better knowing this? Does it make you happy that I do this after I slept with someone?" JJ yelled at Emily.

Emily lowered to the floor, hearing JJ think it made her happy killed her. She held her mouth and sobbed, in a ball on the floor. JJ pulled her jeans back up and leaned back against the door, sliding to the floor. Hearing Emily cry for her made her want to hold her in her arms, but she couldn't. Not anymore.