Freshman Year

12

"JJ why?" was all Emily could ask, it's all she could get out. She looked at JJ who was staring at the ceiling. She looked at the blonde, crying against the door and noticed something on her finger. Emily sharply inhaled and covered her mouth. "JJ." She whispered, standing and rushing to her side.

When JJ felt Emily's arms wrap around her, she sank into Emily's chest. Emily wiped JJ's hair, pulling her into her lap. The small blonde felt smaller than ever, crying on the floor of her dorm with her girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend?

Emily continued brushing her fingers through the blonde's hair, not wanting the moment to end. "Jayge, why did you stop talking to me?" She whispered. It was the question on her mind for weeks. "I don't know." She heard come from her lap. Emily shook her head as JJ sat up.

"I didn't mean to. I think I got scared. When you looked at me at lunch and dinner, it was like I was the sick puppy that I had fought so hard to not be. I get that you probably hate me but I am so fucking sorry."

Emily held JJ's face and made her look at her. "I could never hate you. I promised to not look at you like that and I still did. I am sorry. But I am right here. Please talk to me." She sighed. JJ nodded and grabbed Emily's hand.

"I want to stop. I really do. But I can't." Emily pulled JJ into her and stroked her hair. "I want to help you Jen. Please let me." JJ leaned back against the door and put her head on Emily's shoulder.

She didn't realize she was spinning the ring on her finger, it had become a habit. "Em, I need to tell you something about last night." Emily looked at her and nodded. "I saw you at the football house going home with that guy."

JJ nodded. "Oh. Right. Turns out he doesn't know what taping your legs is. Isn't that funny?" JJ smiled, trying to lighten the mood. Emily sent her a look and JJ laughed more. "Sorry. Thought it was kinda funny."

Emily gave her a smile and put her hand on JJ's thigh. She felt the tape that still wrapped around JJ and moved her hand. "Can we take it off?" Emily asked. The blonde looked down and nodded slightly.

JJ rolled down her jeans and looked away from Emily. "How do you want me to do it?" JJ crossed her arms and shook her head, trying to stop tears from falling onto her cheeks. "Just rip it."

Emily grabbed a corner of the grey tape and slowly peeled it. She looked up at JJ, wanting confirmation she was ok, but didn't get a response. Emily whispered a small "I'm sorry" before peeling the tape off.

JJ gasped and covered her mouth, waiting for it to be over. Emily continued apologizing, holding her hand to JJ's skin after the tape was removed. "Just do it." JJ said when Emily finished her left leg. Emily nodded and started the right one.

When the tape was gone, Emily pulled JJ to the bed, hugging her and holding her. "What do you want me to do for you? What do you need?" JJ thought for a moment. What did she need?

"I think I just need you to take the tape away. I know I won't buy more, I just can't have it. I liked eating with you, just don't look at me the way you were. Please." Emily nodded. "JJ I think you are the most perfect person. I need you to know that. I think you are the most gorgeous human being to walk the earth."

JJ smiled and shook her head but Emily grabbed her hand. "I'm serious. I will tell you every day until you believe it." JJ looked at Emily and saw she was being honest. "Why?" Emily smiled. "Because I love you Jennifer."

JJ stared at her, hesitating before leaning forward and kissing her. She felt her kiss back, Emily's hand on the back of her head. Emily felt JJ's tears on her cheek and pulled away. She wiped a tear and pulled JJ's head into her.

"I love you too Emily." JJ shut her eyes and tried to stop crying. She sat up and looked at the brunette. "Let's go out for dinner." JJ smiled. Emily beamed at the thought of it. "Yeah ok." JJ changed out of her work clothes before they grabbed their keys and walked to Emily's car.

Emily drove them to a nice Italian restaurant, she wanted to treat JJ and she knew Italian was her favorite. JJ saw the restaurant, noticed the name and looked back at Emily, shocked. "Em, no. I just meant like fast food." Emily didn't say anything, walked around the car and opened her door.

"I am treating my girlfriend to a nice meal. She deserves it after a long day." JJ smiled at the word girlfriend and Emily noticed her reaction and asked why she smiled. "I just missed being your girlfriend." Emily kissed her hand and led her inside.

They sat together, talking about everything that had happened over the past couple weeks. Emily saw how she was guilty about what had happened. "You don't have to feel bad." JJ looked at her. "For what happened."

JJ shrank in her chair so Emily reached for her hand. "Jennifer, I got you back. That's all I care about." JJ nodded and smiled at her. When the food came, JJ watched Emily, watching how Emily looked at her with love. JJ relaxed and took a bite, following Emily.

She followed Emily until she was full, pushing her plate forward. The bill came and JJ reached for it, but Emily swiped it from her hand. "I brought you here, I pay." JJ tried to fight but Emily waved her off.

When they got back to the dorms, Emily invited JJ to stay the night, just to make sure she was ok. JJ happily agreed and brought a bag to Emily's dorm, filled with clothes and extra toiletries. She called it a "go-bag" and Emily thought it was adorable.

JJ walked into the brunette's dorm, surprised to how it was set up. Emily had moved her bed and took decorations off one of the walls, a projector shining onto the wall. "What's this?" JJ asked, setting her bag down. "I thought we could watch a movie. Spencer said your favorite was The Virgin Suicides."

"Yeah, it is." Emily looked at her, slightly confused about that choice. The blonde noticed and sat on the bed as Emily turned the movie on. "Have you seen it?" She asked, Emily shook her head. "I'll tell you why it's my favorite when we finish it." JJ smiled.

Emily nodded and sat against the wall, pulling JJ into her. JJ relaxed into her arms as the movie went on, Emily holding her tighter as it went on. By the end of the movie, Emily was sobbing as JJ smiled, barely crying.

This made Emily even more confused, how this was JJ's favorite movie. "The book was even sadder." JJ said when Emily turned off the projector. "So why that movie? Because I fucking sobbed my eyes out." Emily smiled.

"Did you notice they all went out together? No sister was left behind. I guess when I was a kid that's what I wish Roz did. Not leave me behind you know?" Emily hugged JJ tighter from behind, just letting her know she was there.

JJ leaned into her, letting Emily hold onto her. She fell asleep within moments, Emily acting like a weighted blanket. Emily dug her nose into JJ's hair, afraid if she slept, JJ would be gone when she woke up.