Freshman Year

5

JJ didn't sleep that weekend. Every time she tried, she thought of Emily and the night they spent together. She even dreamt of her at one point.

When the clock hit 8 am she left for the dining hall, Spencer always ate breakfast early. When she got there she saw him sitting at a table. She sat done across from him and piled her keys, phone and wallet on the table.

"Spencer I need you to tell me what something is." She said, staring him in the eye. "Okay? Is everything okay JJ?" He asked. She shook her head and took a breath.

"What does it mean when you feel your stomach turn at the thought of someone. Like when you see them it makes you feel like your insides are about to explode. Like something is in your stomach trying to get out. And when they talk to you, all you wanna do is listen."

"You just want them to continue talking, so maybe, just maybe, you'll get to learn a little more about them. Like you know what happens in the story but they might reveal something about them that you didn't know. Something that is so small and insignificant but its theirs."

"And they keep you up. They are on your mind every second of every day since you met them. They block your mind from everything and everyone. And the fear that admitting it to yourself brings is too powerful to come to terms with. Like admitting the feelings means you have to admit something about yourself that you swore to get rid of."

She put her head in her hands, trying to get the words out of her mouth without sounding like an idiot or saying something she'd regret. "What is that Spence? What is that feeling? And how do I get rid of it?" She asked, desperate to keep the feelings she had about Emily away.

"Jennifer, I don't think you can. Ignoring science, you can't just get rid of strong feelings like this." He looked at her, seeing the fear in her eyes. "What is it Spence?" He looked back at his food before smiling at her. "JJ I think that's what love feels like. Or at least liking someone is. I'm not really the best at this kinda stuff."

JJ shook her head, she already knew that's what it was, but maybe there was something else. "Spence, it can't be. Not this quick." She shook her head and laid it on the table. "There's a study I could tell you about but I don't think it's the time." She laughed and lifted her head up. "Thanks Spence." She smiled.

"So. You and Emily." JJ blushed at the thought of it. He noticed, but kept it to himself. "I should probably go get ready." She said, gathering her things. "But you didn't eat." Spencer said, starting to clear his dishes.

JJ hesitated, looking back at the line. "Yeah, I have a muffin in my room from the soccer coach. I'd rather not eat this breakfast today." She said with a small laugh. Spencer nodded and she left for her room.

~

"Elle I need to ask you something." Emily said during bio. Elle nodded, not looking away from her laptop. "When did you know you liked Spencer? Like, like like. You know?" She said, trying to be cool about it.

She had been thinking about JJ ever since she met her. The girl with the golden hair that needed French help. She caught herself thinking of the fun dates they would have, where they could go. Since the party she had been mad at herself for not making a move, saying something on the couch.

Emily had had other girlfriends, but no one had ever made her feel like this. She felt if JJ even looked at her, everything wrong in her life would be fixed.

"Well, it was when I caught myself smiling at the thought of him. Like you do with JJ." Elle didn't even look up from her computer.  She could feel Emily's eyes on her and turned her head.

"Ever since we left you in that study room, you have been randomly smiling to yourself. That's when you met JJ. Then we saw her in the library and every time she looked at you it was like no one else was there. You got ready for the party, we obviously interrupted something, and you two were attached at the hip all night. Now you can't stop thinking about her. It's so obvious you like each other."

She went back to her computer, texting Penelope and Spencer everything. Emily but her head on the table, both impressed with Elle, and scared of what to do next. "Just hang out with her later today and kiss her or something." Emily groaned and Elle laughed at her.

~

When JJ got back from her French class, she threw her bag on the floor and laid on her bed. Classes were getting harder now that she had been preoccupied. Penelope heard the bag drop and knocked on the door.

She peeked inside and found JJ asleep on top of her bed. She laid a blanket on top of her and let her sleep. When dinner rolled around, she lightly shook JJ awake.

"Hey sleeping beauty. Dinner time, wanna join? I think Elle, Hotch and Emily will be there." She said, a small smile creeping onto her face. JJ nodded and wiped the hair from her face. "Some of us are gonna study after dinner. Grab your bag if you wanna join." Pen added.

JJ quickly brushed her hair, grabbed her keys and a piece of gum to get the taste out of her mouth. "You fell asleep in shoes and everything. Rough night?" Pen asked, pushing the button for the elevator. "I slept like shit. Then classes took everything out of me. At least I don't have practice until tomorrow." JJ said, trying to sound positive.

"You need to let us know when the games are. We all wanna come see our star soccer player." Penelope said, trying to squeeze one of JJ's cheeks. JJ laughed and tried to push her off, before the doors beeped open.

The duo met up with Elle on the walk and found Emily and Derek already at a table. JJ set her keys down, next to Emily, before going to looking what the options were. She came back to the table with a clean, organized plate of rice and pork and a glass of Sprite.

Penelope asked about everyone's day, Derek talking about Crim132 and football practice, Elle joining in about her history class, Hotch talking about his lunch date with Haley. When it was Emily's turn, JJ tried to not stare, she looked at her plate, at Spencer and would take drinks to keep her eyes off Emily.

Even without looking, JJ wanted her to keep talking. She wanted to ask her question and learn every detail about her. She got caught up, thinking of Emily, forgetting her turn was next.

"Sorry. I had Crim, French, and English. Got back to my dorm and fell asleep. Pretty eventful." She smiled. By the time dinner had ended, the group was talking about studying. Some of them were going to go to the library to catch up on the homework they ignored on the weekend.

"I didn't really have any so I'm gonna go watch a movie or something." Emily said, all her work had been submitted. JJ was playing with her food, moving it around the plate, making it look eaten. "JJ?" Hotch asked, breaking her from the trance she was in.

"I think Ms. JJ is going right back to sleep. Right?" Penelope asked, seeing JJ almost fall asleep at the table. "Correct. I'm so fucking tired right now." She laughed. The group cleaned and dumped their dishes before splitting up.

Elle and Derek were going to the gym, Pen, Spencer and Hotch were going to the library, and Emily and JJ were heading back to the dorms, alone.