Hard to kill

chapter 3

!CW! torture/ mentions of past torture/ blood/ biting(not in a fun way)/ dissociation/ mentions of past child abuse/

The first thing Regulus became aware of was the pain. In his head. In his arms. Everywhere. He tried to recall why he felt like he'd be thrown off his broom. Had he fallen from his broom?

"Reggie?" Jamie? "Reg you awake?"

Regulus managed a moan as he squinted his eyes open. Why was it so dark? Oh. Oh. Right. Voldemort. Captured. Dungeon. Bellatrix. Great.

"How do you feel?"

"Like I got run over by a train," Regulus's voice was a bit hoarse.

"Guess that was a dumb question," James huffed a laugh and squeezed Reg's hand. Regulus stared, up till now he hadn't even noticed they were holding hands through the bars of their shared cell. James saw this and retracted his hand. Regulus missed it already, "Sorry,"

"Is Sirius asleep, again?" Reg asked.

"Um, no he's kinda just sitting there. He hasn't really said anything," James said quietly, "I think he's mad,"

Reg looked at the other cell, barely making out the figure of his brother in the horrible lighting. He was stock still with a blank face. Regulus knew what that meant. Sirius wasn't ignoring them, he wasn't present.

"He's not mad," Regulus sat up with a groan, "He's just not... conscious,"

"What do you mean," James's voice became more concerned and confused.

"He used to do it a lot when he still lived with our parents," The younger explained, "When he had a really bad fight and couldn't cope he'd kind of... shut off for a while. And it looks like that,"

Regulus remembers the fights very well, he always tried to steer clear of them, to avoid getting cought in the fray. But after the fights, he'd always go check on Sirius. Most of the time, Sirius would just scream at him to leave, but sometimes he'd find him shut down. It was when Regulus found him like this that he would stay with him. Even if Sirius was not truly aware, he wanted to make sure his older brother wouldn't accidentally hurt himself.

Typically the episodes would only last about an hour or two at most. It all depended on how bad the fight was. Regulus always found it a bit disturbing to see Sirius like that.

Sirius was loud and bold. He stood up for himself. Regulus always admired that boldness in his brother, it made living at Grimwald Place a little more bearable knowing someone else hated it more. But this version of Sirius wasn't his brother. It was empty and void. Everything that reminded Regulus of his old house. Something that sucks the life out of you.

James's face showed a bit of shock mixed with fear at Reg's explanation, "Don't worry he'll come out of it and be fine," Reg reassured James, "maybe a little memory loss but..."

Silence filled the cells as Reg stretched his sore muscles. He'd forgotten just how painful it was to be cursed by Bella. Her spell strength rivaled that of his mother's. Their family magic was naturally cold and quick, it's what made curses more powerful... and more painful.

"The order will come for us," James said, "Remus will notice we're missing by now, or Lily and Mary will,"

Regulus loved James's optimism. Even if it was annoying at times. He missed it. He could have used it while working as a Death Eater. Which was only around two weeks ago.

"I would have tried to help you," James spoke up, pulling Regulus from his thoughts, "Back at Hogwarts, I would have helped you. If you'd just been honest,"