Hard to kill

chapter 4

!CW! Violence/mentions of blood/dissociation/torture/forced torture(you'll see what I mean)/ thoughts of death(self sacrifice, acceptance of death).

Sirius was the first to wake up. His head was groggy and dizzy when he tried to move. His memory was just as bad. He remembered the basics of what had happened but the details were still fuzzy.

"Siri?" Regulus sounded about as bad as Sirius felt.

"Yep," Sirius answered with a scratchy throat.

"Are you ok?"

"Yep," Sirius sat up in his cell, leaning his back against the wall, "You didn't say anything right?"

"No," Regulus's voice seemed remorseful, "I didn't say anything,"

"Good," The two brothers sat there in silence for a few minutes, "I'm- I'm proud of you,"

"I'm sorry," Reg's voice was choked.

"This isn't your fault, Reggie," Bellatrix was right, Reg was trying to blame himself for this. Sirius was not about to have that.

"Not about this. Well I mean I am sorry about this too but I mean... I'm sorry about everything else," Regulus kept his head down and arms around his knees. He looked so small. Like when he and Sirius had been little and were being scolded by their mother.

Sirius always hated when their mother made Reggie look like he was trying to disappear. Siris had always tried to make up for this by screaming and yelling in order to make himself bigger than Walburga. He would try to be the bigger one so Reg wouldn't have to fear her. He wanted Reg to feel safe around him.

And what had he done in the end? He left Regulus with her. He left the one he had been trying so hard to protect.

"It's ok, Reg," Sirius said regretfully, "I'm sorry too. For leaving you,"

"Don't be," Regulus said quickly,"I wouldn't have left anyway. Not that I didn't want to. I couldn't have. She wouldn't have let me go too,"

"I should have fought back longer," Sirius stated.

"She would've killed you, Sirius," Regulus was quick to point out why Sirius had EVERY right to leave their abusive home.

"So?" Sirius said casually. Reg wanted to hit him across the face. If they weren't in separate cells, he would have.

"Really? Always so dramatic," Reg scoffed.

"Your one to talk," They both let out a laugh.

"Still can't wrap my head around you dating my best friend," Sirius spoke after silence fell between them again.

"Well, we didn't plan it," Reg let himself smile at the memory of him and James sneaking around.

"Do you still care for him?" Sirius asked truthfully.

"I'll always care for him," Regulus answered, "But we'll never be what we were. I ruined that..." Reg knew they'd never get the chance to remedy what they once had. Reg didn't think they could anyway. James was better off without him.

"Well maybe not," Sirius cut through his thoughts, "Maybe you could start over,"

"Are you trying to set us up or something?" Reg joked.

"Why not? Once we get out of here I mean," Sirius laughed then took a deep breath, "How are we going to get out of this one Reg?"

"Don't worry I've got a plan,"