Jessica doesn't trust men. Worse, she has a string of short relationships and runs away when things get too serious. Demons from her past resurface when she meets him, Angel Seth Saint, her new teacher with a burning look. And, even if the young wom...
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I'd like to wake up slowly like a Disney princess but there's no way. I've been trying to move his fingers from my neck for the last 15 minutes. He doesn't squeeze them, but it prevents me from getting up. From running away, rather. In which side are you? I have class. I can't afford to be late. You forgot to mention who's the teacher. Shh! His fingers finally start to let go and I put them gently on the bed, near his face. He sleeps peacefully like an Angel. I understand better why he received this name. It suits him so much better than Seth.
Weren't you supposed to run away, you moron? I just want to watch him sleep a little. Stop being so nasty, conscience. I know I'm an idiot for leaving. I finally found a kind and caring man but the truth is I'm freaking out. I don't know how to handle them. I need hugs and attention but when I find the right one, I panic. Because I wonder if it will last? Does he want something else from me? Will he get tired and abandon me? Or use me to the last drop. You're afraid of falling in love. Shouldn't I?
Last time, we know how I ended up: heartbroken, crying. If only it had stopped there...No, I had to listen to my stupid heart. I almost didn't recover. In fact, I don't think I've fully recovered. Angel deserves someone who can love him completely, without fear, without holding back. I can't do that. He can't fight my demons. Most of all, it's not his job to do it. It's up to me to do it and when I'm ready I'll come back to him. That is, if he's still around. So I stroke his hair one last time and place a soft kiss on his forehead.
"Where do you think you're going?" he whispers against my skin.
I almost jump with surprise. I didn't know he was awake and faking it. It's going to be a lot harder to get away now, especially since he's figured it out.
"I didn't want to wake you up, I'm panicking. I'll just go before I'm late. You can go back to sleep."
"OK," he answers without even bothering to open his eyes.
I'm actually a little disappointed. I thought it would have more of an effect on him than this. Isn't that what you wanted? I think so. But as soon as I turn around to get up, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me up. I find myself lying on the bed again, unable to move. He holds me tighter until I feel his breath caressing my skin and dips his head into my neck. I don't dare move. I'm just glad he can't see me smile. Finally I was wrong. I may be a complex mind and hard to pin down, but he doesn't seem to get tired of me.
"Is it because I made you shout my name yesterday that you're running away?"
"I-"
What can I say to that? Let's face it, last night was fantastic. But I also know that he was very gentle with me. Things are going to get darker, more painful, and I might not be able to handle it. So I'd rather walk away. It's the right decision to make and he would agree with me if he were impartial so I try to stand up again but it's a waste.
