Jessica doesn't trust men. Worse, she has a string of short relationships and runs away when things get too serious. Demons from her past resurface when she meets him, Angel Seth Saint, her new teacher with a burning look. And, even if the young wom...
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One second...it only took a second for everything to fall apart. But why am I so surprised? I've never been able to hold on to a single drop of happiness...without a storm blowing it away. It's always been that way and always will be. I have no illusions whatsoever. As soon as I turn the knob, that'll be the end of it.
I asked Chacha to leave me alone. I wanted to go alone. Above all, I want to be able to run away without shame, if I feel like it. To go where? Back into his arms, one last time. Angel is only two steps away, in the room "opposite". I know he is. I can smell her perfume from here. And, above all, I can hear Sophia's voice.
For a few seconds, I closed my eyes and rested my head against the door. I hoped I could hear her voice. I wanted it to reassure me. But he remained silent. I know him well enough by now. He must be seething with anger. And as much as I'd like it to be directed at me, I know it's not. He's far too gentle for that... Still, it would be so much easier if they were angry with me. So much easier than opening that door and facing my mother.
I've turned this discussion over in my head a hundred times. I know how it's going to go. She's going to scream. I know I will. But I have no idea how it's going to end. I've disappointed her, as usual. But I'm getting used to it. And it doesn't matter. I intend to choose Angel. He deserves that I choose him. But what if he...doesn't choose me? Nothing would stop him from walking through that door, ignoring me and moving on.
There's nothing to stop her abandoning me and saving herself. Worst of all, I can't even blame him. We may be two consenting adults, but the situation is serious. I don't doubt it for a moment. Otherwise my heart wouldn't be beating so fast and my hands wouldn't be shaking either. No matter how much I breathe, as Angel has shown me, nothing helps. Sometimes, you just have to go for it.
There aren't three thousand possibilities. Either it goes or it breaks. So I take a deep breath and turn the handle.
"Finally! "
The director seems at his wits' end. But I don't pay much attention to him. I watch my mother turn around. Her gaze falls on me and I freeze. No...it's much worse! I feel my whole being trembling with fear. If there's one thing I've learned from her, it's when to fear her. I prefer her angry, screaming...because when she smiles broadly and pretends everything's fine, I know what's coming...
"Sit down, Miss Smith. We need to talk. "
I nod and step forward. I'd have stayed standing, but I've got enough to worry about. This is no time to argue about orders.
"Come on, Jess, come and sit by me. "
My mother taps the chair. The only empty chair. And her smile widens. Making it even more eerie and fake. Like her overdone bun. Still, I have no choice. I sit down. But I land on the floor.
"Oh, what a klutz!" she laughed falsely.
I'm not amused! Especially since I saw him pull it at the right moment. But I get up again, without saying a word. She won't get what she wants. I won't crack! Not like the director, who's already at his wits' end.
