Jessica doesn't trust men. Worse, she has a string of short relationships and runs away when things get too serious. Demons from her past resurface when she meets him, Angel Seth Saint, her new teacher with a burning look. And, even if the young wom...
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Music: Don't Blame Me- Taylor Swift
....
I take a moment to compose myself, but it's no use. In fact, it makes things worse: my tears flow so much that they fall into the palm of my hand, like raindrops on the road. I knew it would be hard, but I hoped it would bring me some peace. I thought it would make me feel better. But it didn't. All that hatred I felt for myself resurfaced.
With my eyes closed, I can barely breathe. Above all, I can feel my fists closing.
"Princess..."
"They liked to tease me from time to time. Nothing...very serious, you know."
"I'll be the judge of that."
I don't want to do anything to myself. My body doesn't want to remember. But when I meet Angel's eyes in the mirror, I burst into tears. He pulls me to him and I hold him tight. I cry against him as his hand tenderly strokes my hair.
I can't control myself. Maybe because it's him. I feel so vulnerable and at the same time so safe when he's around. I feel like nothing could happen to me. He always has his eyes on me and always has the words to soothe my heart.
"What have they done to you, Princess? You know you can tell me anything."
"I know."
But no matter how many words come rushing into my mouth, none of them dare to leave. I'm afraid. Afraid he won't see me as his princess anymore, but as the whore everyone else sees. Their opinion never mattered. I knew I'd disappoint them, no matter what I did, but his...it matters a lot. Angel is the only person who ever cared about me. I spend my time surrounded by people, but they never look any further than the broad smile on my face.
They don't see the pain blackening my heart. No. They all stop at my laughter without seeing my suffering. As a result, none of my relationships have lasted. Playing the role of caring girlfriend and loving sister is so much easier than that of tearful victim. And yet, there are times when I finally have to scream at the top of my lungs. I can't say why.
I want to lock myself in a room and let all that anger build up. But how can I? People count on me so much. I always have to be strong, with unshakeable composure, and carry all the world's suffering on my shoulders. What happens to mine? A memory doomed to disappear with all the others?
Maybe we just have to wait it out.
"Princess..."
I snap out of my thoughts. His pupils pierce the mirror to meet my gaze. He wants to know. And, really, he deserves it! He deserves to know what that scumbag did to me. But what if he doesn't believe me...him too? There's only one way to find out.
"Three months later, I think, one of the girls in my class threw a party. And they invited me. I was surprised, because I wasn't exactly popular in that school."