Poems by me

When i was a little girl.

When I was a little girl, I was told to hug people when greeting them.
When I was a little girl, I was told I had to kiss them on the cheek too.

When I was a little girl, there were monsters under my bed, in my closet.

"Mommy, daddy, come quick"
There's nothing there sweetie.
"But there was a monster. I promise."

When I was a little girl, a monster kissed me.
He was tall. Looked ordinary.
But I knew he was a monster.
Because ordinary people don't go around kissing little girls.
They don't wrap their arms around their waist, they don't do things without your consent- .
A monster does that.

When I was a little girl, I ran into a few monsters.
They all looked ordinary.
But they didn't understand the word no.
But would parents have believed me, if I told them that a monster kissed me?
A monster kissed you?

When I was a little girl, I lied.
Would they think I was lying about this monster?
Would they think I'm a compulsive liar?

When I was a little girl, I kept things to myself.
I knew when to speak. I knew when it was my turn to talk the truth.

When I was a little girl, I kept this secret far too long.
A month into this endeavor, bursting into tears every night. I finally tell the truth.

When I was a little girl, I had to go to court. I had to see one of these monsters, one last time.
He didn't even look me in the eye.

When I was a little girl, I told the truth. I sat in court telling the truth.
When i was a little girl, I had a friend.
Or at least I thought she was.
Her and her ex and the monster- all spitting lies hoping their stories would win.

When I was a little girl, I was naive. I was gullible.
I would sit and listen to there lies and cry out for the truth to be heard from up above, and what do I get?

When I was a little girl, the judge trusted me. She was nice. She had freed me from them, from this pain.

When I was a little girl, walking home from the park was a nightmare. Walking home from a friend's house, walking alone was my worst fear.

It doesnt matter if there were others in the public eye. They never helped me. I cried out for help, no one heard me.
When I was a little girl.
I had trust issues.
I couldn't tell if you were nice, or a monster.
So I decided to trust you. An old friend. While faced in public, he denied ever touching me.
This monster has a girlfriend. I wish her luck.

When I was a little girl all these monsters walked out of my life, while these scars on my body were bleeding. I needed to get out.

When I was a little girl, I had no way out. I was stuck in a loop. Monster after monster, lie after lie. I kept things bottled up and cried every single night.
My cuts re-opened.

When I was a little girl, music was my way out. The way the keys sounded on the piano when I played them. I've left my body.

I've forgotten the times when I was just a little girl.