A Single Moment of Sincerity

eight.

WARPED TOUR 2011 - COLUMBIA, MARYLAND

I had demanded that I follow Chris and rest of the band to the hospital, despite the fact that Kimmie had said she'd prefer I don't. She didn't give too much of a reason beside it being a bad idea, but I knew that me not going to the hospital would've been a worse one. There was no way in hell I was going to let Chris go and not be there for him. I didn't even get a chance to thank Ben for helping get Chris safely off the stage and out of the prying eyes of the worried fanbase. He offered to come with me to the hospital as well, but I told him he had done enough before I had to chase after them. The last I saw was his worried look, but I was way too distracted by everything else. None of my thoughts were even about anyone else but making sure Chris was okay, there was no room in my brain for anything else.

All I knew was I was sobbing sitting in the hallway outside of Chris' room. Taylor was sitting next to me, rubbing my back. We were all silent except for my cries, which I was trying to muffle behind my hands. I couldn't look any of the other guys in the face, feeling as if some of this entire mess was my fault. No, Bailey, stop being so selfish. Think about someone else for once in your fucking life.

Chris wasn't out for too long, luckily. He had actually woken up before we had even gotten him to the hospital, but they still said he needed to go in. It was dangerous to even pass out at all, especially so publicly. I was sort of upset at everyone around him for not making sure he didn't go on, but I couldn't blame them. Chris was his own boss and he did what he wanted to do without much worry about what other people said. It was something I admired about him, but it was also something that was increasingly detrimental.

It was late before the hospital said they were going to let him get out, saying that it was just a bad mix of drugs and alcohol and that he needed to not perform for at least a few days. He was conscious, but obviously out of it. When he saw us, he immediately went to me, hugging me. I just hugged him back, crying into his shoulder.

"Let's get you out of here," I whispered into his ear, wanting nothing more than him to be okay. Taylor and Caleb helped walk him back to his manager's car which was waiting for us. His manager had spent a lot of the time while we waited on the phone, making calls to many different people. I hadn't really paid too much attention. At one point, he turned to us and angrily told us off for not taking better care of his drug problem. I could tell he was stressed, but so were we all. Hayden had told him to stop, so he just stormed off. Everyone's stress was high, even after Chris got back to the tour bus. No one said much.

"Are you okay now?" Caleb asked, helping Chris into his bunk. They had cleaned out the rose petals that he had insisted on putting on there. The other night when I had woken up in the bed, there was a bunch of them all over me. It was weird, but another thing I just wrote off as one of his quirks. He didn't seem to notice the missing flower petals.

"Yeah, thanks," Chris smiled up at all of us. "Sorry for all this."

"Don't be," I cut in quickly. "We all want you to be okay."

"I don't deserve any of you." We all chimed in our disagreements before insisting that he get some rest. He expressed sadness in not being able to perform, but we brushed it off. He turned over and Caleb pulled the curtain shut. Everyone moved into the front area, sitting down or standing, silent, thinking.

"I'll head back to my bus," I finally said, after a few moments. "Are you going to follow on the tour, or drop out, or what?" I was curious. I didn't want to leave Chris completely, but I couldn't drop out either. My band needed this tour and they needed me to be on it too. I had an obligation to both Chris and them, however. It would also stir up a lot more trouble for Never Shout Never if my band dropped out right at the same time they did, if they even did drop out. Taking care of Chris was, of course, my priority, but I had to be smart about my next moves too. There were times when I wished that I wasn't so much in the public eye, and this was one of them.