It felt like I was being burnt alive. Everywhere was on fire. It was a pain like no other. It was even worse than the pain I felt that time after the plane crash. Since I couldn't escape, I surrendered myself to the pain.
It's been a week since I've been at the hospital. I was paralyzed. I couldn't move. All I could do was scream my lungs out as my insides were on fire. My only relief was the times I was kept on sedation but most of the times I was conscious and it was hell. I don't know hell but I'm sure this is how it felt being there. But I suffered through it because it was worth it. I had saved my destiny. My one. And that's the only thing that mattered to me. Speaking of my one, I'm sure he was going out of his mind with worry. He hasn't heard from me in a week. I was in no state to be answering any calls and I didn't want him to know any of this because I know him. He would drop everyone and come flying, jeopardizing his chances of winning the championships in the process. And I know if he knew the reason I was in this state, he would be in a lot of guilt. He would never forgive himself. And I didn't want him to go through what he went through of watching his mother get sick and die when he was young again. I couldn't do that to him. So I suffered alone...well my family...manager...and my friends were all here with me. Even though their tears, anger and hopelessness broke my heart, I was glad to have them with me.
Today though, the burning was a little bit better. Only, a little bit. I wasn't screaming anymore. I couldn't. My voice was gone, completely. I gritted my teeth whimpering and shaking as my mother held my hand tightly.
Celia: "Christopher is calling me again. This is the millionth time. Should I answer?" I just shook my head at her. She sighed. "I think you should just tell him or otherwise he won't stop calling." I shook my head violently as I made noises of disagreements. "Okay okay calm down. We won't tell him." I settled down. Her phone rang again. "Oh I need to take this." Then she walked out.
Songezo: "How are you feeling sis? A little better?" I nodded my head even though I was lying. He was in real distress.
Songeziwe: "How can you even ask her that. Can't you see and hear how much she's suffering?"
Songezo: "I know okay? I'm just...fuck! I hate this! I hate seeing her like this and being no help at all."
Songeziwe: "You think you're the only one?! We all feel the same!"
Dad: "Hey hey! If you boys are going to fight, take it outside. My baby girl doesn't need this right now." My poor dad. He has been calmer than usual but I know he was dying inside. My brothers both sighed loudly in frustration and apologized. My mom started to sob next to me. "Linda please."
Mom: "I know I know...but I can't help it. My poor baby." I wanted to comfort them and tell them that everything was going to be fine but I couldn't.
I must've passed out because when I woke up the next time, the sun was setting outside. My mom was still next to me. She was sleeping. My dad and brothers were not in the room.
Celia: "Bad news." She announced as she walked in. "Somebody leaked the news of you being in the hospital to the press, now you're all over the news." I made noises of distress waking up my mom in return. "I don't know how. That's what I'm trying to find out now." She told me typing away in her iPad. "I think a hospital staff member leaked it out." Oh my god! My one! "Don't worry I'll try to block it as best as I can but it has caught heat already."
Mom: "The hospital was sworn into confidentiality. How could this happen?"
Celia: "I know right? And after we also donated so much into their hospital, they betray as like this? After I find who it is, they'll be hell to pay." She walked out.
Mom: "Calm down baby. I know you're worried about Vuyani. Maybe he won't see the news?" I shook my head. He will, I know it.
Yonelisa: "Viking has pulled out of the championships." Oh god no!
Jessie: "The net is in a state of uproar about it."
Greta: "They're blaming you. They say it's related to you being in hospital. They're calling you a curse to Viking's career."
Yonelisa: "Bloody bastards."
Greta: "There are pictures of him at the airport boarding his flight to SA." She said showing them to me. My one.
Jessie: "Isi don't cry. It's not your fault." Yes, it was.
Yonelisa: "Yeah it's not your fault. You didn't choose to be sick."
Greta: "Yeah, it was out of your control." Only if they knew. If you think about it, I did choose this.
Yonelisa: "Did the doctor finally find out what's wrong with you?" I shook my head. "What the heck? It's been over a week now and they still can't find out what's wrong with you? That's ridiculous. They're doctors!"
Jessie: "I think you should change hospitals."
Yonelisa: "Yes because this one, it seems, has incompetent doctors." I shook my head making sounds of distress and pain. "Okay okay. We're sorry. We'll calm down."
Jessie: "I'll go get the nurse. It's time for your sedation." She walked out.
When I woke up this time, there was a big commotion outside the door. I could hear my one shouting for them to let him in and see me. I'm sure the securities that Celia found were the ones holding him back. I could feel his panic and fear deep in my soul. My one. As much as I didn't want him to see me like this, it killed me to hear his shouts of anguish. I made noises signaling my mom to go let him in.
Mom: "Are you sure? You're still not better." I nodded. She nodded sighing and went to the door. I heard her telling them to let him go and then after a few seconds my one barged in like a wild lion that had been caged for a very long time...breathing all heavily...puffing and huffing. His eyes were wild and there were a lot of emotions reflected on his face. And each one of them were a stab to my heart. He saw me shaking and wheezing in pain and he broke. That's the only way I could explain the way he was.
Vuyani: "L-Little b-beamer...w-what's w-wrong...w-why a-are y-you lying in h-here baby?" His voice. "D-Didn't I-I tell you...that you shouldn't be s-sick? Didn't I tell you, mh?" I shook my head whimpering as tears leaked out of my eyes. "Why didn't you listen to me? I told you it's forbidden for you to get sick." Oh my poor one. "You get sick without me being there with you and then you don't tell me? You don't tell me little beamer?! Why?!" A sob broke out of me as I shook my head violently. I'm sorry baby. I was trying to protect you from the guilt and pain of seeing me like this. I tried to convey my words to him through my eyes. "Tell me, why?!"
Mom: "She can't speak." She told him softly. "Because of all the screaming...she...she lost her voice." He closed his eyes as tears slid down his face. He put his forehead on mine. We had our moment for only just a minute and then he was a man on a mission. I saw it in his face. Oh-oh.
Vuyani: "What's wrong with her mama? What did the doctors say?"
Mom: "Um...the doctors don't know what's wrong with her-."
Vuyani: "They don't know? What do you mean they don't know?"
Mom: "They did many tests but-."
Vuyani: "Where is the doctor?" He yelled walking towards the door. "Bring me the fucken doctor to me this instant or I'll turn this hospital upside down!" He boomed. My mom looked at me with her eyes wide opened while my dad and brothers were looking at my one with little smirks on their faces. The doctor and the director of the hospital rushed in the room all flustered. "What's wrong with my woman?"
Director: "A-As we told her family, we don't know yet but we're doing the best-."
Vuyani: "I don't care. I just want her healed now!"
Director: "We're trying our-."
Vuyani: "You are trying?" He asked dangerously. "My woman is busy shaking and and wheezing in pain and all you do is try? Then you better try harder! You hear me? Because I swear if you don't, this hospital including yourselves will be all over the news. You understand what I'm saying? Yes?" They nodded quickly as their eyes widened in fear.
Director: "F-For now we'll sedate her as we think of ways to lessen her pain and find a cure of what she has." They were not going to find a cure because this was no ordinary sickness. All this was going to be over after 5 days. But I would be glad if they could lessen my pain even for just a tiny bit.
Vuyani: "Okay but I'm warning you, there are reporters outside, and I'm sure you know who I am and who she is, so if you don't play your part as doctors, I promise you, they'll be hell to pay for all of you in this hospital. Get me?" They nodded. The director indicated to the doctor to sedate me. As the doctor sedated me, my one bent getting into my face as he brushed my head gently. "Don't worry little beamer, I'll get them to fix you so that you're not sick and in pain anymore. Nothing is going to happen to you. Trust me, okay?" I nodded as my eyes started to drop. I made a sound of distress. "Shhh my little beamer. I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere." I felt his lips brush over my forehead and on mine , then I was out.
