49. Forgive You And Forget You

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Once I'm just a few feet away from my bedroom door, I feel cautious eyes on me making me pause

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Once I'm just a few feet away from my bedroom door, I feel cautious eyes on me making me pause. Feeling a hand on my shoulder, my defensive skills kick in.Grabbing the hand on my shoulder I yank it and the body attached to it forward causing the person to land on their back in front of me.

"Oh my god Ezekiel," peering down at him with my eyes widen a guilt stricken look on my face. I wince as he grunts in pain while closing his eyes dramatically, " I do to deserve that huh?"

Yes.

Helping him up I shrug my shoulders once he's back on his feet, " I mean I'm not going to disagree with that statement."

"What do you want Ezekial." Since coming back from my meltdown, the other night Ezekiel as tried a few times to talk to me.

But honestly I don't need that kind of energy in my life. So I've been avoiding him like the plague. It might sound childish I know. But ignoring him till one of us dies sounds pretty amazing and that is my plan at this point.

Walking into my bedroom Ezekiel quickly slides in before I could shut the door in his face- talk about rude like no wants you here. "If you came here to apologize, apology accepted now leave."

I just want his ugly face out of my room, so if I have to say I accept his sorry sorry so he can leave so be it.

"No I'm not here for that." Ok now I really want to just punch him in the face, his face is so punchable. I could sucker punch him... hehe sucker punch.

Sucker punch.
Sucker punch.

That's such a weird phrase sucker punch. Hmm I want punch fruit punch ohh now I want Italian ice the Swedish fish flavor. Ugh I want Swedish fish, and chocolate kisses. Gosh I love sweet treats hmm and savory things ugh lemon pepper chicken wings sound delicious.

Funyon I gotta focus.

"You're not here to apologize?" I deadpanned eyeing his nervous body language as he was fidgeting under my glare. "Oh you came here to crap on me again? Go ahead whatever insults you're about to hurl at me i've already heard."

"Angy,"

Interrupting his thought I laughed tautly ,"in fact I'm sure some of the insults you're about to throw at me I've heard while I was being raped by men three times my age. "Ignoring his widened eyes I continue, "but please by all means go on and tell me how I'm whore and all I'm good for is fucking and sucking."

"Don't say that," he urged.

"What? Say the same words you carelessly threw at me like you were complimenting my wardrobe choice for the day?" Sitting down with crossed legs I take in his shakey form and roll
my eyes at that tears I see are forming in his eyes.

I should stop and ask if he's ok, but what has being nice and considerate gotten me? Beaten, raped, and having secrets and being told half truths by family.

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