46. I'm Just So Tired

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Santa Claus, Jeffrey Dahmer, Tom Holland, Marcus from Ginny and Georgia, they all can be classified as a him

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Santa Claus, Jeffrey Dahmer, Tom Holland, Marcus from Ginny and Georgia, they all can be classified as a him. But each him brings a different set of emotions. From happiness, to anger depending on the name of the him, new emotions will arise.

I don't know the name of this him but the only emotion I'm feeling is- tired.

Is tired even an emotion? You know what it is today because anger and happiness are an emotion that is so tired because right now that's how I feel- tired.

Not tired like sleepy or exhausted. I'm just so tired of dealing with my past. Tired of grown ass men thinking they can control my mind, body, soul, life.

Tired of being happy even just for a moment and having my happiness taken from me in a snap of fingers because ramblings of my past just have to come out.

Tired of my demons not fully being put to rest, of not being put together.

Tired of being broken.

Tired of feeling unloved.

Tired of being unwanted

Tired of the voices in my head that just won't go away.

I'm so tired of listening to those voices.

I'm just so tired, god damn it.

I want to put it to rest, the demons, the voices, this emotion of tiredness I just want to put it to stop.

Feeling a small hand on my shoulder I instantly know it's Tre's hand as she gives me a comforting squeeze bringing me out of my haze. "This isn't a book where you leave us on a dramatic cliffhanger to tell us who him is," she demanded.

Gaining a little bit of confidence because he knows he has information we want the sorry excuse of a man smirking. "Here I was thinking you were the nice twin."

"They're triplets with ME not just twins," Lele piped up from behind in an agitated tone.

He's cute, I'll give him that.

"Keep smirking like that, I'll peel that pretty little mouth right off your face." I deadpanned already tired of his crap.

Dropping his smirk instantly he cleared his throat. Looking behind me he locked his eyes with one of my family members giving them a taunting look,"right it was your grandfather- Reese's father."

I'm so tired of having evil family members, like at this point Tre could actually be evil and backstab me and I don't think I'll even bat an eyelash.

"The fuck you talking about boy." Jackson Smith angrily said as he took a few steps away from our family that were side-eyeing the former mafia don.

Each member probably replaying all moments with him. Trying to figure out if there was any weight to the words this man said... but he couldn't be right?

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