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11: Second Chance

Jake POV:

I fucked up so bad. So, so, so bad. The love of my life is gone because I decided to break up with her. It was always hard knowing I was next in line to lead the clan, but I never thought I would've had to sacrifice anything to do it. She came into my life when we were both young, nearly 17 when we first met. She got lost on a hunting expedition when I stumbled into her and led us back to home tree, it wasn't long after that we became the best of friends. Nearly inseparable until it came time for me to choose a mate and of course I picked her and it became a whirlwind of love. The passion, the adventure, the sex-oh god the sex-made me feel alive and she was and will forever be the person I love most in the world.

Problems didn't start until my dad was killed by the sky people, leaving me the responsibility of Chief at a mere twenty years old. I had no desire to bring kids into this world, especially when I was already worried about protecting my mate but she never liked that answer. Always claiming I had ulterior motives, or I was cheating on her since I was out late. Countless times she brought up that the man I am today is not the man she married, claiming I had lost the parts of me she loved. It was hurtful to say the least, but in all fairness I was never a good husband. I saw her slip through my fingers and all I could do was to watch her walk away.

She never deserved this life and I know she was born to be a mother so talking that away from her just never seemed fair, the only problem was how often I would see her. Daily we would collide by the canopies and have to make an awkward gesture of respect before speeding past each other. I never did see her with other men, but of course a man has needs so I looked elsewhere to satisfy myself but nothing ever seemed to get the job done. She would haunt my memories in the day and suffocate in my dream at night, the act of mating does not go unseen by Eywa as it was clear she was punishing me for my behavior.

Recently though I have seen her at more places adorning a smile instead of her usual frown and wetness that threatens to seep out of her eyes. It hurts to know I've caused her pain but what hurts more is the thought that another man is the reason she is always wearing a smile.

I was strolling along the canopies after dinner, hoping to run into her before she ended up in her canopy for the night. I ran my hand over the canvas of a canopy I particularly liked. A little bioluminescence illuminated the entrance so the person who lived here could clearly get in as well as little windows that were rolled up to let the last of the sunlight in before nightfall. I was lost in thought of adorning the home next to me. I didn't realize who was right in front of me.

"Hello?" A little voice choked out as I shot my head up to where it came from to see her looking down at her feet facing towards me.

I let out a little smile, "Hi." I let out a cough in an attempt to clear my throat and kill some of the awkwardness. It clearly didn't work as we both stood in a standstill looking everywhere but at each other.

"I was just ah-looking at this canopy, isn't it nice?" I gestured to my right where my hand was still comfortably placed on the canvas.

"It's mine," she looked over to where my hand was touching, then back at me as a warning to remove my arm from her space.

"Oh-I'm sorry," I removed my hand quickly, letting it fall to my side as she looked back at me, our eyes meeting for the first time. Hers were sprinkled with anger and confusion whereas mine were filled with desperation.

"How are you?" I asked, nothing felt right to say to her.

"Fine, Tsu'tey has been helping me feel better lately, you know after everything," she confessed there had been another man in her life as I pinned my ears back in sadness. It was always Tsu'tey, they were always close so it shouldn't surprise. I couldn't help but feel the sting of jealousy start to hurt in the back of my eyes.