More or Less Grown-up Affairs

Chapter 25

Since Headmistress Dunder-Head's assembly, the fifth graders and first graders spent the week fighting. It was currently Saturday, and the cafeteria was in chaos. Tables were turned on their side, lined up like barricades. Students squatted behind the tables, occasionally peeking around the corner to shoot at a student on the other side, shouting to their classmates and friends. Students lay on the floor, wounded. Nerf darts flew across the room in every direction. In the center of the room, Jorgelino and Fitzwilliam were in a heated lightsaber fight that had been going on for hours, neither one ready to back down.

"Come at me!" Jorgelino yelled, swinging his lightsaber at Fitzwilliam's stomach.

"You're literally four feet tall and I'm five foot and eighty pounds. You will not win this fight." Fitzwilliam replied, swinging at Jorgelino's feet. Jorgelino jumped over the red lightsaber blade, sweat running down his face.

"Expired coupon!" Jorgelino yelled, jabbing at Fitzwilliam.

"Spam email!" Swing.

"Itchy sweater!" Block.

"Inconvenient fire drill."

"I don't even know what that means, cold bowl of soup!"

"Unnecessary movie sequel!" Jab.

"Wobbly table!" Jab.

"Overdraft bank fee!" Block.

"Crying baby on a plane!" Jorgelino swung at Fitzwilliam's torso. Fitzwilliam didn't see it coming. He froze. Life slowly left his body. He fell to the ground. Jorgelino followed him to the floor and, kneeling beside him, said, "Long live the revolution."

Fitzwilliam whispered his last words in Jorgelino's ear so quietly, they were almost missed. "May... The chocolate chips... in... your cookies... always... always turn out... to be... raisins." He said. His eyes rolled to the back of his head. They closed. His body went limp in Jorgelino's arms. His breathing stopped. Jorgelino dropped his body. It was over. The first graders were free. Free at last.