Anderperry Oneshots Collection

With Benefits

Neil had been panicking for weeks, but today was the day. Today, he was going to tell Todd how he really felt.

He didn't have a plan. He didn't have a clue what to say. He figured he'd just let his heart do the talking. 

Practically shaking with a combination of excitement and anxiety, Neil let himself into the dorm to find Todd pretending to study. In reality, Todd was doodling on the back of his hand, spring sunshine cascading over his golden hair, ignoring his textbook which lay open in front of him.

Dear god, he was gorgeous. Neil couldn't have been more enamored if he'd walked in on a Botticelli angel. Todd with his goofy smile and bright blue eyes.

Neil took in a deep breath. "Todd, I have something to tell you."

Todd glanced up briefly, then returned to his drawing. "What's up?" He asked, staring down at his hand.

"I love you."

Neil waited for the blunt statement to sink in, for Todd to react one way or the other. But he didn't. Instead, Todd smiled at him and went right back to the intricate x-ray he was drawing.

"Aw, love you too babe," he muttered.

Neil was stunned. "I- uh.. that's it?" he said weakly. 

"Why, what were you expecting?"

"I just- Let me put it this way: Will you be my boyfriend?"

Todd gave him a blank look. "Neil, we've been dating for three months."

Neil's jaw all but dropped. "No?"

"Yes. Are you feeling alright, did you hit your head or something?" Todd stood up, drawing forgotten. Neil's safety came first in his eyes.

"No, I didn't hit my head. What do you mean we've been dating for three months?"

"Since you were in the play. And that was..." Todd counted on his fingers. "What is it, March? So yeah, three months."

"We were never dating."

"You seriously never thought we were dating?"

Neil shook his head no.

"We've been sneaking off to go make out since January."

"Friends kiss each other," Neil reasoned.

"Yeah, like, a little bit sometimes!" Todd sat back down, resting his head in his hands. "And you hold my hand and I write you mushy little poems...I thought we were in a relationship? I mean, I even told Cameron."

"Pause. You told Cameron?"

"Who was I supposed to tell? Knox? Did you want the whole school to know before you apparently did?"

"You make a fair point. Go on."

 "Neil," Todd said, and lowered his voice to a hiss. "We slept together last week."

"Friends can...do that!" Neil defended.

"What friends? Which ones? What friends have you had that made you think that?"

Neil looked up, as if praying. 

"Exactly. Jesus, Perry, you are dense." Todd never called him by his last name. But today he did.

Todd sat back in his corner, but didn't doodle on his hand anymore, instead stared at the floor. He had on an annoyed look, and Neil realized with a pang of guilt that he was sulking.

Neil couldn't help it, he felt like an idiot. There was Todd, the last person in the world he would ever want to hurt, feeling bad and probably embarrassed because Neil had been too blind to notice that Todd loved him.

He thought of Todd running to Cameron's room with a huge grin and light in his eyes because of how goddamn excited he was to be with Neil. He thought of Todd writing and rewriting the sweet poems and notes he sometimes found on his pillow. He thought of Todd rolling over in his bed as Neil's voice steadily read aloud from whatever book he'd picked to help Todd wind down, to make him feel safe and secure in the light of the night sky, and how all that security meant nothing now.

Neil thought about it, really thought about it, how it must feel to devote three months to someone who, as it turns out, wasn't devoting the same love to you.

And Neil felt terrible.

"Todd?" Neil said softly. Todd looked up and found Neil crouching beside his bed. "Toddy, I'm really sorry. You've been giving me all your love this whole time and I've just been taking it without a second thought. I acted like a total asshole."

"Total asshole," Todd agree light-heartedly.

"Yeah, well, now that we've established that I am an asshole, I'd like to say that I am completely in love with you, and if you'd give me a second chance, it would be a pleasure to be your boyfriend officially." 

Todd considered this. 

"I could make that work," he said after a long while. Then he smiled, and pulled Neil in for a kiss.

They'd kissed before, him and Neil, both treasured, fleeting things and long drawn out acts of passion. But this kiss was none of that. It wasn't a mistake of the moment, it wasn't a lapse of self control. 

This kiss felt like the beginning of something great.